Locked out of Heaven

Weird that today Bruno Mars said it best. Heard this on the radio and thought of my sweetie. I really did feel like I had been locked out of heaven. For too long.

 

I love you Joseph.

Bruno Mars: Locked out of Heaven

 

 

 

One, two, one, two, three

Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!

Never had much faith in love or miracles
Never wanna put my heart on the line.
But swimming in your world is something spiritual
I’m born again every time you spend the night

Cause your sex takes me to paradise
Yeah your sex takes me to paradise
And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause you make feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long

Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!

You bring me to my knees
You make me testify
You can make a sinner change his ways
Open up your gates cause I can’t wait to see the light
And right there is where I wanna stay

Cause your sex takes me to paradise
Yeah your sex takes me to paradise
And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause you make feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long

Oh oh oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Can I just stay here
Spend the rest of my days here
Oh oh oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Can’t I just stay here
Spend the rest of my days here

Cause you make feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long

Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!

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Never Going Back Again

Fleetwood Mac – Never Going Back Again

 

She broke down and let me in
Made me see where I’ve been

Been down one time
Been down two times
I’m never going back again

You don’t know what it means to win
Come down and see me again

Been down one time
Been down two times
I’m never going back again

 

LOVE THIS SONG

Who’d have known

I love this song. It’s for my Joe.

It’s 5 o clock in the morning,
Conversation got boring,
You said you’re going to bed soon,
So I snuck off to your bedroom,
And I thought i’d just wait there,
Untill I heard you come up the stairs,
And I pretended I was sleeping,
And I was hoping you would creep in with me.

You put your arm around my shoulder,
It was as if the room got colder,
And we moved closer in together,
And started talking about the weather,
You said tomorow would be fun,
And we could watch A Place In The Sun,
I didn’t know where this was going,
When you kissed me.

Are you mine? Are you mine?
Cos I stay here all the time,
Watching telly, Drinking wine,
Who’d have known, Who’d have known?
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone,
No longer feel alone.

I haven’t left you for days now,
And I’m becoming amazed how,
Your quite affectionate in public,
In fact your friend said it made her feel sick,
And even though it’s moving forward,
There’s just the right amount of awkward,
And today you accidentally,
Called me baby.

Are you mine? Are you mine?
Cos I stay here all the time,
Watching telly, Drinking wine,
Who’d have known, Who’d have known?
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone,

Let’s just stay, Let’s just stay,
I wanna lie in bed all day,
We’ll be laughing all the way,
You told your friends,
They all know,
That we exsist but we’re taking it slow,
Lets just see how we go,
Now let’s see how we go.
[x2]

Brilliant. Ty Lily Allen for reading my mind.

My love,
Lady X

The Lake

I am wide awake. The night is quiet. The only sounds are those of the crickets and other night creatures that make up the sounds of nature going on around me as I look at hundreds of stars. I look around the lake, the water is black glass. Calm and placid. Beautiful in its design. The trees surround me, I feel it the oxygen, the life, the colors that surround me. Everything here is alive and it vibrates around me. I feel it in my skin. Feel the vibrations inside my skin. The night life is its own music. Its a beautiful complex set of sounds. Earthy, natural, brilliant. Amazing.

I felt this way last night. I looked at the endless sky, I thought to myself, “this night could only be more perfect if I saw a firefly.” When I was kid, in my hometown at the fourth of July, we sat on the top of the hill, and we got ready to watch the fireworks. And as dusk hit there was a firefly, then another. Until there were twenty or thirty of them. It was in my eyes an endless see of amazing beauty. Tiny flashing lights. Not made by man, but instead made by God. Such wonder in my 12 year old eyes. I had never seen a firefly before then. So to me it was one of the most amazing things I had ever seen in my life. So last night I told myself that after such a perfect day it would only be more perfect if I could see a firefly. And as I walked back to my tent I looked and I couldn’t believe my eyes. A firefly. Such wonder. I followed it with my eyes till it was out of sight. Just grateful in that moment to have a 12 year olds childhood wish granted.

Amazing.

Be amazed.

Love Always,
Lady X

5 o’clock in the morning

I just took a great nap. I feel pretty good. I am listening to that song in the above mentioned title. It’s the song I think of everytime I am awake at this time. And since I have spotify I can listen to it because I was just thinking I really wanted to hear it.

The only problem with this nap is I have a lot to do today. I want to try to get my hair done, then I need to grab a few groceries, though Carlos picked up some so he saved me a trip and the use of my credit card.

Continuing forward with my random post, had a great night at work. Lost power at the Bucks for an hour yesterday. It was very interesting. We sent one of our baristas home early but then wished we had just sent her on lunch. But it was good. We worked it, closed it down and then just chilled out outside letting the wind blow our words around while we just chit chatted about how things were when we were younger. Being 31 means I can use sentences like, “when I was a kid” and get away with it.

Sometimes you just need a few minutes of the past.

So as I figure out what I am going to actually do with this fantastic day, I bid you all adeui.

So here are the lyrics to that song. Enjoy your morning my bloggers. I hope you are getting some 5am action. I am lying in a bed filled with too many yippy dogs, a toddler and just me. maybe I’ll just stay up. I’m sure I can get way more done that way. We will see. Too much to do. Too much too do.

All my love always bloggers,
Lady X

[Lily Allen:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there (uh)
Until I heard you come up the stairs (uhh)
And I pretended I was sleeping (uhh)
And I was hoping…

[T-Pain:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and I want ya
And you want me, don’t ya?
I can see it
Cause you’ve been waiting on me since
I said that I was hittin’ the club
Something coming up on me
And I know you be getting so horny
Cause you be sending me texts saying
Like boy just get your ass up in that car
And come get all of this love

(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)
You ain’t got to remind me
She already said if I don’t come home on time
She might go crazy
And she’ll be waiting on me naked
With one of my chains on
She might come and find me (oh oh oh)
And then ask me kindly
Do I want her to go crazy?
We do this every night
And then we always wake up singing the same song

[Hook: Lily Allen]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning (yeah)
Conversation got boring (talk to me girl)
You said you’re going to bed soon (let’s go)
So I snuck off to your bedroom (come on)
And I thought I’d just wait there (wait on me)
Until I heard you come up the stairs (I won’t let you stay lonely)
And I pretended I was sleeping (alright)
And I was hoping you would creep in (goodnight)

[Hook 2: T-Pain]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there
Until I heard you come up the stairs
And I pretended I was sleeping
And I was hoping you would creep in

[T-Pain:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
And you calling
And these females got me stalling
I can hear your voice in my head like
“What is he doing? Oh, what is he doing?”
Cause I keep checking my cell phone
And these missed calls
You texting me like I’m a kill y’all
If you don’t get your ass up out of that club
And do you know what time it is?

(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)
Oh, oh my bad, girl
And this Nuvo got me trippin’
And I know that you mad, girl
But you ain’t got to worry about nothing
Girl I got you, girl I got you
She might come and find me, and then ask me kindly
Do I want her to go crazy?
We do this every night and then
We always wake up singing the same song

[Hook: Lily Allen]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning (yeah)
Conversation got boring (talk to me girl)
You said you’re going to bed soon (let’s go)
So I snuck off to your bedroom (come on)
And I thought I’d just wait there (wait on me)
Until I heard you come up the stairs (I won’t let you stay lonely)
And I pretended I was sleeping (alright)
And I was hoping you would creep in (baby girl goodnight)

[Hook 2: T-Pain]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there
Until I heard you come up the stairs
And I pretended I was sleeping
And I was hoping you would creep in

(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)

[Wiz Khalifa:]
You ain’t got nothing on
But the t-shirt that I left over your house
The last time I came and put it on ya
Too many thirsty girls up in this club for me to
Leave here with one of them
That’s why I call her
And you’ll be right at home waiting for me
Iphone plugged in the wall, just waiting for me
Club closed at 6, left around 4:30
Yeah so by the time I’m at your crib…
(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)
And you yawning, but I’ve been drinking all night and I feel like performing
With you in the bedroom
Floor to the dresser
Don’t want nothing less cause I’m sure you’re the best
You’re the one, so I let you
That’s how you show me love
And when we finish you like “Damn, babe you woke me up”
I love the way you put it down like it’s for both of us
The sun ain’t the only thing that’s coming up

[Hook:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there
Until I heard you come up the stairs
And I pretended I was sleeping
And I was hoping you would creep in
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning

Musical Ecstasy

The pathway to my soul. I always want it playing. The sound, the notes, the lyrics, reverberating through the bottom of my soul. Feel it powering my cells. Depending on the sound and the song and the meaning it can power me up, power me down, or drain me, lift me up, drag me down, make me cry, make me feel, make me love, it is a magical soup blend that fills me up no matter what. The music doesn’t always matter. Tonight it is Matchbox 20. Something about Rob Thomas and the songs from one of his first cds just speaks to me tonight. No one song imparticular. Just all over the map. But I love it. The sounds, the notes, running through all of me. Honestly there is something for me about music that is very sexual to a point.

Sometimes I just want to have the music running over me. I can’t help but move my body to the sound and it just makes me move, and depending on the music it could look sexual too. I need to have it in me, flowing around me, filling me up. It is very very deep and meaningful and empty and shallow all at the same time. It is hard to explain the way that music speaks to me. It’s spiritual, physical, sexual. It runs deep inside me, and my spirit. It’s as if it is part of me. It can be old music, new music, hip hop, regae, rap, country, oldies, rock and roll. It doesn’t even matter to me. I just need the music, the vibrations running over me, even in my sleep. I play the music now on my ipad next to my face practically just to feel the music pour over me in my sleep.

I need it, and it drives me crazy when I can’t hear it. I sneak my ipad into my drive thru spot so I can listen to it at work at night because the cafe music is either too hard to hear or it is all wrong for my mood. And mood matters too. See how terribly complicated this whole scenario is. I sometimes don’t even know what to do with myself. I want to think, and breath and live the beats in the songs.

Some songs are more important than others. Some speak to my on a higher level. Sometimes its the music, sometimes its the lyrics, sometimes its just the singer. I can’t explain it, and some songs mean so much to me and I still dont know why.

This week music has felt very sexual. Yes, I am sharing a lot but I just need to feel the words leave me. Sometimes I can think better once the letters and the phrases leave me. It’s primal this week. My feeings about music anyway. Sometimes it is more so than others. Tonight, very much. its been creeping up on me all day.

Busted – Matchbox

Forget when words were only words
She knows the party makes me nervous
In this stage we can’t get hurt
Don’t try to understand me

We’re too cool to be alone
But, not too crazy to get busted

I found out one life ain’t enough
I need another soul to feed on
I’m the flame I can’t get burnt
I’m wholly understated

I found silence in this space
An on and off again attraction
I need such amazing grace
Heaven sweep me away

Love don’t change, don’t come around here
Don’t wear my heart on your sleeve
Like a high school letter
Don’t strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we’ve become, well
They’ve never been the people who we are

I strap on one horse and prayed for luck
I dug another hole to bleed
I know exactly how this works
I need a new feel dirty

I don’t need you crowding up my space
I just want to get inside you
You can’t blame the heart you save
Giving something away

Love don’t change, don’t come around here
Don’t wear my heart on your sleeve
Like a high school letter
Don’t strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we’ve become, well
They’ve never been the people who we are

I dreamed that the world was crumbling down
We sat on my back porch and watched it
I dreamed that the buildings all fell down
We sat on my back porch and watched it
In my head I heard the sound
Like fifteen strangers dancing

But oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I wish I was somebody else, baby
Oh how I wish you could own me

Love don’t change, don’t come around here
Don’t wear my heart on your sleeve
Like a high school letter
Don’t strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we’ve become, well
They’ve never been the people who we are

THis song is rolling over me crazy. I just want to listen to it over and over. It is in fact the perfect song for me tonight in the midst of the crazy swirling musical ecstasy that is pounding in my ears. It is in fact crazy and wonderful and magical. I can’t even describe it. I felt this way once, it was with Dave Matthews song Shake Me Like A Monkey. So I have been here before. I am always alone when this magic happens, which I imagine is a good thing. I probably would hurt someone in the most awesome way if I was to find myself actually alone with someone.

I don’t know what spurs or starts this feeling and I imagine what drives it but it is powerful, and awesome. And I consider myself lucky to feel this way at all. Even if I am alone to dine on the musical foreplay that finds its way into my soul as it drives me to cry out and sing out louder and louder as the vibrations take over. The music is always there. Ever a presence in me, always wanting to be apart of me, and my moments. Desperate to be out, wanting to be seen by everyone. Look at me the music cries. See me for what I am and who I am. Look and me, love me, be with me, dance with me, kiss me, make love to me, sweat with me, pant with me, know me, own me, fall over the edge with me.

Damn I love this song. Its like the 8th time ive listened to it now. I need more!!!!

My soul is burning up, the notes, the guitar, the drums, the bass, pour over me, take me over, fill me up, burst from within me, deep inside me.

Music is a deep part of me, I feel it all of the time, it rules me sometimes, I feel it, no matter if I can hear it audibily, it is always there. The piano notes, the lyrics, the build up, the release, oh how I want you to know me, oh how I wish you could own me.

Sigh. It is so intense sometimes I don’t even know how to respond but to dive in, let it take me over, overtake my thoughts, burn me, take me, tear me down, build me up. It is far too much but I simply must have it!

I feel the guitar, it strums in a crazy tempo that finds all my deepest places. I need it, want it, can’t get enough of it. Heaven sweep me away.

I need a new feel dirty.

I just want to get inside you.

The tempo picks up its pace, I feel it, pounding, faster and faster, then slows to a pace that makes me crave it, faster faster faster. Please.

I dreamed that the world was crumbling and we sat on my back porch and watched it! Oh how I want you to know me….

It’s crazy intense and I want the release but the interesting thing about the music is there really never is a release, it is just a lull in the vibrations. Just a moment to partake in the amazing orgasmic feeling of a song filling me up, taking me over, and leaving me when it is finished.

Love don’t change, and don’t come around here.

I feel like I could in fact partake in this for hours, and I might, just depends. I think I will go home and play this till the endless loop fills me and I feel the lull.

Listen to the song btw, and let it fall on. It is amazing. And if you don’t feel it, well not everyone is like me.
Never and yet always yours,
Lady X