Craziness

Life is crazy. 

I ran into one of my bridesmaids while working my drive thru at Starbucks. Her name is Cat, and she is awesome. I don’t know her anymore but I am hoping to fix that. Funny thing is, we are both divorced now. I find it so interesting the way life goes. I also ran into my doula from Aimee (my middle kiddo) in my drive thru. I have run into old photography clients as well. Starbucks, bringing people back together one cup of coffee at a time.  This story is pretty boring, but I just wanted to say one thing.

Even if you haven’t seen someone in a long time, who knows. You may run into them at Starbucks. Maybe you should go get a cup of coffee right now.

 

All My Love

Lady X

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Work Rant

I was awoke this morning from a text message from a coworker that I messed up the milk order. Brilliant. This falls in line with all of my other failures this last week while I am in training for my promotion to be a shift supervisor at Starbucks.

I want so much to be good at my job. And getting a promotion at Starbucks to shift supervisor was great. The raise was nice. More than I expected and the boss that drove me crazy is gone replaced my a female ginger that I really like.

But my coworker who got promoted at the same time with me is making it hard to not hate him. And that sucks, cause before the promotion I mostly liked him.

Now he wants to point out every time I get something wrong. And it is driving me crazy.  I get it, it is possible that he will be better at this in the beginning than me because he is naturally an asshole. But I just really am not going to put up with him doing this to me constantly. I really am going to give him one more week of this and if he keeps it up I will tell him, then I will tell my boss. I don’t want to hate my job because the person I thought was a friend has decided it is fun to pick on me for all of my short comings.

It is making me hate working with him and it is making me even more self conscious about my job. It is hard to make the transition into being a boss, now I have to do it with a parrot on my shoulder telling me all of the things I do wrong.

Awesome. What a great morning this has turned out to be.

 

Maybe I will get lucky and my coworker will fail miserably somewhere today and I can hear about it later. I know that is petty but at this moment I don’t care.

5 o’clock in the morning

I just took a great nap. I feel pretty good. I am listening to that song in the above mentioned title. It’s the song I think of everytime I am awake at this time. And since I have spotify I can listen to it because I was just thinking I really wanted to hear it.

The only problem with this nap is I have a lot to do today. I want to try to get my hair done, then I need to grab a few groceries, though Carlos picked up some so he saved me a trip and the use of my credit card.

Continuing forward with my random post, had a great night at work. Lost power at the Bucks for an hour yesterday. It was very interesting. We sent one of our baristas home early but then wished we had just sent her on lunch. But it was good. We worked it, closed it down and then just chilled out outside letting the wind blow our words around while we just chit chatted about how things were when we were younger. Being 31 means I can use sentences like, “when I was a kid” and get away with it.

Sometimes you just need a few minutes of the past.

So as I figure out what I am going to actually do with this fantastic day, I bid you all adeui.

So here are the lyrics to that song. Enjoy your morning my bloggers. I hope you are getting some 5am action. I am lying in a bed filled with too many yippy dogs, a toddler and just me. maybe I’ll just stay up. I’m sure I can get way more done that way. We will see. Too much to do. Too much too do.

All my love always bloggers,
Lady X

[Lily Allen:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there (uh)
Until I heard you come up the stairs (uhh)
And I pretended I was sleeping (uhh)
And I was hoping…

[T-Pain:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and I want ya
And you want me, don’t ya?
I can see it
Cause you’ve been waiting on me since
I said that I was hittin’ the club
Something coming up on me
And I know you be getting so horny
Cause you be sending me texts saying
Like boy just get your ass up in that car
And come get all of this love

(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)
You ain’t got to remind me
She already said if I don’t come home on time
She might go crazy
And she’ll be waiting on me naked
With one of my chains on
She might come and find me (oh oh oh)
And then ask me kindly
Do I want her to go crazy?
We do this every night
And then we always wake up singing the same song

[Hook: Lily Allen]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning (yeah)
Conversation got boring (talk to me girl)
You said you’re going to bed soon (let’s go)
So I snuck off to your bedroom (come on)
And I thought I’d just wait there (wait on me)
Until I heard you come up the stairs (I won’t let you stay lonely)
And I pretended I was sleeping (alright)
And I was hoping you would creep in (goodnight)

[Hook 2: T-Pain]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there
Until I heard you come up the stairs
And I pretended I was sleeping
And I was hoping you would creep in

[T-Pain:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
And you calling
And these females got me stalling
I can hear your voice in my head like
“What is he doing? Oh, what is he doing?”
Cause I keep checking my cell phone
And these missed calls
You texting me like I’m a kill y’all
If you don’t get your ass up out of that club
And do you know what time it is?

(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)
Oh, oh my bad, girl
And this Nuvo got me trippin’
And I know that you mad, girl
But you ain’t got to worry about nothing
Girl I got you, girl I got you
She might come and find me, and then ask me kindly
Do I want her to go crazy?
We do this every night and then
We always wake up singing the same song

[Hook: Lily Allen]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning (yeah)
Conversation got boring (talk to me girl)
You said you’re going to bed soon (let’s go)
So I snuck off to your bedroom (come on)
And I thought I’d just wait there (wait on me)
Until I heard you come up the stairs (I won’t let you stay lonely)
And I pretended I was sleeping (alright)
And I was hoping you would creep in (baby girl goodnight)

[Hook 2: T-Pain]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there
Until I heard you come up the stairs
And I pretended I was sleeping
And I was hoping you would creep in

(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)

[Wiz Khalifa:]
You ain’t got nothing on
But the t-shirt that I left over your house
The last time I came and put it on ya
Too many thirsty girls up in this club for me to
Leave here with one of them
That’s why I call her
And you’ll be right at home waiting for me
Iphone plugged in the wall, just waiting for me
Club closed at 6, left around 4:30
Yeah so by the time I’m at your crib…
(It’s 5 o’clock in the morning)
And you yawning, but I’ve been drinking all night and I feel like performing
With you in the bedroom
Floor to the dresser
Don’t want nothing less cause I’m sure you’re the best
You’re the one, so I let you
That’s how you show me love
And when we finish you like “Damn, babe you woke me up”
I love the way you put it down like it’s for both of us
The sun ain’t the only thing that’s coming up

[Hook:]
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning
Conversation got boring
You said you’re going to bed soon
So I snuck off to your bedroom
And I thought I’d just wait there
Until I heard you come up the stairs
And I pretended I was sleeping
And I was hoping you would creep in
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning

Sleep, what is that?

I am starting to believe that sleep is for everyone but me. I have to get up in 5 hours for work, coffee for everyone! But alas I am awake and I am wishing I was sleeping. 

So here I am, panties and tank top,dark room, iPad, Dave Matthews singing to me. I am alone. Now this is not the usual lonely. I don’t feel lonely of companionship. Just alone in the sense that I am the only one awake, laying here wondering what coffee slinging looks like tired. Sigh.

Now, to think about sleep I would say that while I like a good coma lately my sleep isn’t very productive, my dreams are weird, I cant remember them most of the time and that is frustrating. What if I was having a great naughty dream and the couldnt remember? How terrible is that! Especially if I can’t come share it with you.

So I decided while laying here I would go through all my menstrual cycle data and see if I could find what I had lost. Well I did. While to may seem stupid to do at midnight, I can do it from bed in my undies with no extra effort and it helps for when I go to the lady doc to give her good info. (I have girl drama but I’ll save that for another post)

So I learn some things from the notes and emotions I had listed over the course of a few months last year. Kinda made me sad. While I was actively in love with Carlos, in my happy state, every time I posted emotions in regards to being in love, one of the emotions I listed feeling at the same time was Lonliness. Another was depression, and jealousy. Unhappy emotions to be associating at the same time with love. I want to spend time pondering what this might mean, if it means anything at all since if you have read any of my older posts you are more than up to speed on the dramtic beginnings and endings of the Carlos saga. You can see that it was filled with a lot of stress and anxiety and I am sure it is easy when surrounded by such painful stress that these kinds of emotions can be linked.

I am sure the ramblings of my sleepy brain at hardly worth reading. Summer is almost here, almost time for a little break. Camping soon to get away and then camping again as a family with my midgets in July. So much to want to find doing.

Lord let me sleep, take my weary brain and see that it sleeps.

And as Sade says, if it’s not asking too much, please send me someone to love.

With all my love always,
Lady X

Work work work

Work is work, but I am glad I can sit here and type of an extra post for today since I feelk like I got cheated out of a post yesterday. It has been kind of a weird day, with the X husband sending me old pics, and then a pic of him (clothed of course) and then him calling me on my lunch break to ask me about our kids pregnancies and births for his journal I already feel like I have had more than I really wanted to spend talking to him today. Granted none of it was bad, I just wish sometimes that I could continue my week of blissful ignorance of pretending that he only exists when I have to see him. The rest of the time I pretend he isn’t an issue. Ignorance is bliss people and I will abuse that as long as I can.

As for work, work is great. It is always a perfect distraction for things in this life. Greeting and making customers happy really does help me feel energized and better about the day. At least in a small way when I feel like I have trouble making others happy I can always make someone happy at work by knowing their drink or knowing their name. Starbucks is an interesting place to work and since I love doting on others and being doted upon it is a great place for me to be.

I feel superficial today. I was thinking of how cute I am with my new tattoo and how adorable I am in my fake glasses and while there are other things that I think are negative that I could dwell on, I won’t. Why not just swell in the world that God gave me, look on it and the things that he created and know they are all beautiful. So if you didn’t know, you are beautiful, and loved and even though I don’t know you, I love you. So be comforted by that.

As I listen to Rumer, and enjoy the old 70’s feel of it, enjoy the melancholy feeling rolling over me because that is who I am and I am comfortable in that, I am glad, grateful, and happy to be me. As my tattoo says on my arm, I wouldn’t want to be anybody else. Love someone today, because as Dave Matthews says, everyday should be a good day to die.

With all my love and all my hugs,
Lady X