Words are not enough

Words are a sad way to describe love. What could any human language manage to say that rings true?

Too small, too faded, to feeble even with the descriptive nature of words.

Love is too big, too bold, taking the word “too” and adding it in order to enhance a word so inadequate that we still feel under expressed in the meaning we want to convey of what it means to love.

To feel it, to know it, to observe it, is to understand how faulty, how insufficient the words we have been given are. How could they sketch the qualities that love, true love, adorns itself with?

Not decorated in jewels but instead by tears of joy, intrinsically designed by a master craftsman, labored over an entire lifetime to create something they felt spoke of the beauty and the love that was screaming to be shared from the depths of their soul

This, my love, is how I see our love. Too amazing for the words that I have. Too limitless for description. There is no picture I can paint for you that will show what loving you looks like.

No passionate story I could portray for you that would truly show what loving you means to me.

My love, you are made up from the dust of the stars. The remnants of creation of the universe. Taken by the hands of God and shaped into the love meant just for me. What a gift!

To have a work of art, created just for one person is to know the creator truly wants us to have who he shaped for us and who he artfully put together to be just what we need to experience a bountiful way of love that will never be able to be put into words.

I can only say this, and hope that the magnitude of my words are felt.

I love you.

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And we danced

The perfect moment when the world slows and everything in my vicinity begins to hum. That moment is when you take my hand, you meet my waist with yours and we begin to dance.

It isn’t romantical in the sense of perfection. It isn’t as if in this moment our love is more or less perfect than it is at every other moment.

Not either of these things at all.

More it is a sense that at this moment as we move to unheard music, your vibrations and light match with mine and I can feel the notes, reverberating through my soul, creating a harmony unlike any other.

As you press your lips to my forehead, and as I inhale your scent the moment, the feelings, the music, it is all the exists.

It passes by almost as quickly as it comes, leaving upon me a perfect imprint of your music, the notes forever painted on my soul. And what is left as we part for the regular moments to come? And endless longing of that moment once more and the sweet anticipation of knowing that it will come.

***

7 years today, my love rescued me. This is for you husband.

 

 

Rain on my window.

It would seem as though the rain and clouds will never part. Instead of cursing this moment of rain, let the water stream down your face. Let the lightning bring moments of brightness to the clouds. Let the water drench your clothes and let the water pool at your feet. Let it wash you clean. Let it take away the moments of doubt. Doubt in yourself, in your purpose, in your calling. Let it all fall away. Why? Oh, dear one, you are on your own team, let yourself believe in you the way you believe in others.
 
You are mighty, a force to be reckoned with, and no one can take that from you, but you.
 
The person who can truly change your life is reading this right now.
 
I believe in you.

Walking with Mary

Me: Mary how did you do it? So many terrible things happened to your son while he was on this earth, how did you handle it all?

Mary: It was a very interesting experience and when I look back at it now I see with full clarity the amazing plan that God had for me and for Jesus. But during that time I was confused and hurting. I didn’t know how to bear the full weight of what was going happen to him when I saw him on that cross it was the hardest moment I imagine that any mother should ever have to deal with is seeing their child die.

But look at us now. We are in this beautiful heaven and we know the reasons behind every tragedy that has ever been following us. Look at Jesus standing over there with the love of all of his people surrounding him. There are so many people here enjoying the love and grace of God because of what he did and because I stood aside and didn’t intervene. How could I in my selfishness deny all of the people who live because of him simply to keep him safe and with me? I am able to see with full clarity the love in his face as we all get to stand here and heaven beside him it’s more than worth all that we endured during that brief time that we spent on earth. I know that in our human minds during tragedy we don’t understand the fullness of God’s plan.

I among so many others have lost their children with no rhyme or reason. No bit of understanding to soothe us. But God’s light is there to guide our steps, and only Jesus and his comfort, though from so far away will give us any peace. Despite the suffering, there is so much that we can learn and be able to lean on his word will give us the strength to make it here. Look now, with us all standing here in glory, we can see the fullness of Christ’s love and God’s love and bask in that and know that every sorrow, every hurt, every pain that we suffered was necessary to bring us to the fullness of God’s love.

When the World Stops

The world is spinning at an incredible 1,000 miles per hour. Every day goes by so fast and you wake up and realize that so much has changed. you have changed. Sometimes for the better, sometimes it is an awakening to begin again.

Time is the currency that we can’t control. But there are moments when everything stops. When a perfect moment happens and all is right with the world.

 

That moment happens daily when he touches my face.

To say I am spoiled is an understatement. It isn’t gifts or trinkets. But his time. Those stopped moments that linger. The feeling that I am treasured beyond human measurement.

If you love someone, are you showing them? Love is a verb, it is an action. Not just a feeling but something that must be acted upon moment by moment, day by day.

Oh love, that I could spent my every waking second wrapped in that stopped moment of your hand on my face and the absolute feeling of endless gratitude for this love we share.

Thank you Joseph. Thank you for your love, for the light you bring into my life and thank you for everything that makes up each day I have the privelage to call  you my husband.

 

Always yours,

Tiarra

 

He Always Knows

Yesterday we dropped the van off at the body shop for repair. After being smashed into at 80mph she sure deserves it!

Joseph drove me to the shop and back and when we arrived home we did something we have done a million times. I stopped, even though he was already walking away. Without looking at me, he knew I wasn’t walking anymore, and instead I was waiting for him to pick up on my body language that I required sugar.

He of course knew what I wanted smiled and kissed me. But it made me realize that instead of our time together the last near seven years dulling our senses to each other or breeding laziness, it has created a deeper threaded bond. And that moment reminded me of so many moments where I never had to speak.

So this was birthed out of those moments.

He always knows what is needed a moment before I do.

As if the cord that binds us sends electrical charges, signals of my impending need

He always knows

A pause, a moment. “I must kiss her.”

He always knows.

Without eyes meeting, without a touch he wraps me in a blanket of certainty.

He always knows.

Is it an embrace? A gentle kiss? A passionate undertaking? It matters not the need.

He always knows.

Is it a text, a call or a love note hand written?

He always knows

Time has not dulled the need for his presence nor has it created distance.

Each passing day brings that thread closer together, closing out the darkness and filling our space with light. Truly he is my penguin, the one my soul longs for, and a sense of comfort is ever present when he is in my thoughts.

No distance, or space can change or contain those threads.

I will always be awaiting when space and time are overcome by those moments.

Why?

Because he always knows.

As He Goes

Try as he might, there was no rousing me this morning. Though he certainly tried.

He littered my face with his kisses. His day about to begin.

He made coffee and ironed all the while stopping to plant more love upon my face.

The garden of his adoration.

With blankets up to my eyes, he loaded his briefcase and he prepared his lunch.

Taking moments in between to drop a kiss on my cheek. To fill his eyes with my image.

I stood to see him off, arms around his neck. He drew the shape of my face with his hand. Pulled me close and held me in his arms.

He paused to gaze at me, kissed my forehead one more time.

More moments to come upon his return, but for now I watch him as he goes.

– Lady Tompkins