Joseph and I met as he was just going back to school. He was an audio engineer for Funimation, and had decided that instead of moving to Hollywood or LA to seek his Audio engineer fortune, that he would go back to school to become a software engineer.
I have been working as he goes to school now, since we met. It has always been my goal to see him finish his degree. Of course, so that he can become my sugar daddy and I can write books and continue my work for OnFire Books from the comfort of any place that I would like to be.
The journey towards his sugar daddy status began during the Job Fair at UTA. He had a prime target for summer internships, USAA, and he scored an interview with them the very next week. Once interviewed he got an email outlining the next steps to ensure his internship. Which brings me to the point of this post. My love is in San Antonio tonight. Flew out this morning to the head quarters for USAA for his final interview. I have total faith that he is going to get it. He is an amazing and intelligent man. I don’t say that because I am biased. (Though I am) I say it because he truly is. God has given him so many talents. He accessed both his left and right brain and for that I remain jealous.
The one thing that this new adventure shows me is how we are growing. We both knew that even though it is barely two days away, (he will be home tomorrow night), we will both miss each other and wish that we were together. He took me along the river walk with him. Sending me photos to show me the sights, because he wished I had been there too.
There is something wonderful to being with someone who understands you, who cares about your feelings and all your crazy nuances. He gets me. It melts my heart and makes each day more worth it than the last.
As the girls and I prepare for bed, as I say our prayers, and as I read them their story I am reminded that he is our rock. The girls miss him when he is gone and I feel l a little lost. Like a broken doll. The piece will be back.
He is my puzzle piece. And being without him is hard. But we are growing. And I know in growth is where all the good and big things happen. Gives us this growth oh Lord. We are ready! Life is full of a series of hard events. I will be strong and I will wait for him. God will keep him safe or me and bring him home.
I am reminded by the events that have transpired over the last few days about how precious life is. Every single day we are in a fight for our lives. Whether we think about it that way or not, it is true.
We have loved ones who are fighting cancer or some other life threatening illness. Each day that passes we are closer to death than we would ever care to think about. With the realization that I want to leave behind more than memories that will fade with time I want to create a place to leave my words. While I have left them here for years I want them to bear meaning. Something that people will learn from.
I have been more than fortunate. I had my appendix nearly explode when I was two. I dodged death as a child with severe asthma many times, several week long stays admitted into the hospiI Was hit by a car while riding my bicycle 4 different times. Who gets hit on their bike that many times and walks away with little to no injury? Someone who GOD has big plans for. I had two emergency C-sections. I was in an abusive relationship, where at the end I was afraid for my life and my daughters.
Why did I tell you all of this? To show you that so many of these instances could have ended my life. God had bigger plans. What am I to do with this time that he as given me over and over? I want to live. To love. To make a difference in people’s lives. To share other people’s stories.
I have been told many times by my mentor that words matter. That words are currency. That my Legacy is more than my daughters.
I believe her.
I am taking action. Making a pact. To live each day to the fullest. Not in some empty and sentimental way that is just to look good on paper. For real. Working hard to make a postive impact on every life that I come in contact with. I want people to see me and see a light. A beacon of hope and of energy. Someone who lifts people up.
Make this pact with me. Live everyday. Make a difference in someone’s life. And make sure you know that you are here for a reason.
Everyone has a purpose. Whether or not you research and give yourself the value you deserve so you can accomplish that purpose is solely dependent on you and how you decide to live. Will you live in this moment? Will you wait for a better one? Every moment is worth something. Don’t waste this moment because it doesn’t meet your standards as a moment worth living. If you don’t value all you can learn from the bad moments, and the okay moments, and even the every day average moments, then do you truly deserve to have out of this world moments? Amazing, once in a lifetime moments happen everyday. Just look yourself in the eye and remember that this moment matters. This moment is important. Grow. Learn. Live. And above all, love. Love like there is no tomorrow.
There just might not be.