Adversity

Adversity:

nounplural adversities for 2.
1.adverse fortune or fate; a condition marked by misfortune, calamity, or distress:

A friend will show his or her true colors in timesof adversity.
You can only grow stronger in situations that provide you with adversity. Defined above as calamity or distress. I am taking a deep breath this morning and trying to learn from adversity.
What is affecting you so?
Well I will tell you. I still find myself working at Starbucks. 2 years as a shift supervisor and 3.5 as a partner. I am unsure if maybe I just go through bouts of wondering why I continue my employment at Starbucks. Most of the time when I am thinking of a job change (like this morning when I left work) I remind myself that I have pretty good insurance (even if I can’t afford to use it most of the time) and that I have a schedule that allows me to be home every afternoon and evening with my girls and my husband. These things are why I wake up every morning at 4am, trudge out of bed and find myself slinging coffee at 4:30a.
There is no small amount of responsibility that comes with the $1 an hour raise and the title “Shift Supervisor”. This morning was the definition of every part of my job and every part that I managed to botch up this week.
The first part was the opening a person short. So I got to do my job, then I got to do my other openers job. I am not mad at her, poor thing was ran off the road by some jerk who didn’t even stop to see if she was ok. She lost two tires and two rims and had to be picked up by her parents. I have no grief with her. It was rough though. You depend on your fellow partners to ensure you have an easy open. This is not always the case. So i took my short staffed open with a grain of salt. Grateful that my staff remained unhurt and I proceeded to try to get things done quickly. The day continued to be fail as our Sunday order wasn’t put in timely (not my fault) so they shipped us the auto order. Which is some wonky cruel Starbucks joke that doesn’t even come close to anything we actually order. EVER. So it becomes the day of hoping we have enough to get by.
Then we had a slow morning. Looked like the day might look up. Our customer count picked up speed and we found ourselves swamped. It is like being in a burning ship. All the customers look unhappy because you can’t move faster all the while you feel helpless to make them or your staff feel any better about being overwhelmed. When the next supervisor arrived, he didn’t check on the floor, he didn’t ask what needed done, he just started doing his own thing even though he wasn’t in charge. I don’t need that. I am the supervisor in charge. It seems this week that doesn’t matter. SO I was left to figure out my floor even thought I was supposed to leave at 10. When my tips person and the other supervisor remained unfinished with their tasks when it was time for me to send people and myself home, I stayed. I can’t leave my partners on the floor like that.
I won’t.
I have been left when it was just baristas, and no shift because they were late or some scheduling mishap. It is no fun, it is stressful and my staff doesn’t deserve that.
So I left 40 minutes late. I did the best I could to help.
The kicker to my day?
It was when I got scolded over the phone by my manager, who was not in the store today, about Sunday’s order (the one I didn’t do the the afore mentioned shift supervisor took from me last week), and then 10 minutes later scolded on a second phone call that I did not have time for but took anyway, to get told I should have noticed about the order black out for today. I am totally at fault for that. But I will accept only half the blame. As our manager did do her own ordering yesterday. Two of them. Meaning I am not the only one who missed the black out notice. So we didn’t double our order, so now we will be short on Thanksgiving.
So as I sit here venting, I know you think I am a giant complainer. Just wait. I am getting to the end of this.
First thing:
I am glad I have a job. Once that gives me the chance to spend time with my family. Not everyone has that. It may not be very grace giving right now, but not all days are bad. Not all days are frustrating.
Second thing:
I do love (for the most part) all of my coworkers. There are special ones in there that will go out of there way for each other. That alone can fix any day.
Lastly:
Me. The way that I deal with it all is a huge. I came home. I clutched my husband. He thanked me for working so hard, for dealing with so much so he can finish school and be my sugar daddy. (It’s gonna happen). His appreciation helps me so much.
When facing adversity you just have to grin, bear it, take it best you can and learn. Learn what you can from it. If you can learn, that is what makes you different from everyone else. If you can take what you see as bad and learn a lesson from it and move forward then you stepped forward instead of stepping back or stepping down into a grumpy dark place.
My final parting words before a well deserved hot bath and some lunch is this:
When adversity comes, that misfortune, the calamity, the distress that this life has to offer you, take a deep breath, put on your determined face and make it good anyways.  I know that isn’t always possible and I know sometimes it is harder than it feels like its worth. But take it from me, someone is learning from watching your adversity. Be a grand lesson in strength and determination. You are better than what you are going through.
All my love always,
Lady X
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Taboo.

My best friend. My mentor, my colleague. She inspires me to do more. Be inspired today.

Escape Suburbia

I used to give words freely.

Not only with homeless people on the street, but with my clients, with colleagues, and with strangers. If I saw a need, I would offer a word of encouragement. If I saw something about their life that they simply could not see that would elevate them, I spoke words of life into them.

But then over and over again, I experienced an unusual phenomenon. I had a 60-year-old female attach yourself to me, after only a brief meeting. I had a dangerous stalker in his 20s and I had another one in his 60s, who messaged me 3000 times. In each case, I had only delivered brief words of encouragement. A man I had never met, irrationally signed his messages with, your future husband.

So here’s what I noticed.

This is a phenomenon in the psychology industry known as transference.

When you fill a…

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