I have been sick for like 2 weeks now. It is wearing thin on my patience as this Thanksgiving is important. More important to me than usual. Since it is almost always about food, I am currently excited about what it means for changes in my life, and the lives of my girls.
See my Joseph and I are finally engaged. I have been ready to marry him for ages. But I wanted him to know he was ready. He takes on a pre made family. A job I feel like statistically is usually taken up by a man who has a pre made family of his own. Not a single guy, with no dramatic past, no kids of his own. Just an ambitious future. I didn’t know how far this would go. But I am happy with the results.
My daughters have been through all the stages. The ones where it was ok that he was around a lot. Then it was weird that he was around a lot. Then it was curious that he never left. Then one day he moved in. And they were like, “What?”.
There were times in the last few months that we talked about getting married, that we would have these arguments with my youngest where she said that she was marrying me and that Joseph couldn’t. Those were so cute. And the one where my oldest told me seriously that she loved Joe but didn’t want a step dad.
Then there was me telling them that he asked me to Marry him, and that I said yes. I told them how he pressed his forehead against mine and told me how he would be honored to call me his fiancé and his wife. And how he hoped I would be proud to call him my fiancé and my husband. And I cried.
The joy in their faces. It was a shining moment for me. We have come so far. They love him so much. It is amazing to know that a man that is not their biological father would be less likely to hurt them then there real dad.
So Thanksgiving is when we tell Joseph’s parents. I am excited and terrified! I know they like me and the girls. I just spend time wondering sometimes if they are ready to have us permanently in the folds of their forever family. Accepting who your son chooses to marry is one thing. Watching him choose a pre made family is another. I know that can be hard. Especially for a very strong Christian family.
I know this though, I know that I am an amazing woman. I know that no woman on this planet could ever love their son the way that I do. I know that he will always have the love of the three most amazing girls for his whole life. Daughter’s that he never anticipated having, but has lovingly thrown his arms around and kept them close to him in his protection.
I never bought into the happy ending thing. I had all but given up on the hopeless romantic that lives inside me. But he squeezed me until I was whole and he gave me that hope back. A hope in the kind of man that I never thought I could meet. That I never thought would be able to love me past the responsibilities of the most beautiful and courageous little girls on earth.
I am the luckiest girl in the world. I know it. I take responsibility for it. I am grateful for it. I will always be diligent in making sure that Joseph knows it. He knows he is the luckiest man on earth. I can see it in his eyes every time I catch him staring at me. That dumb love struck face that I am always wearing, reflected back at me in numbers to numerous to count.
It doesn’t happen all the time, and sometimes you never ever get to feel it. But if love comes your way, even if you are afraid. Embrace it. Even if it hurts after, I would be more sad to know that I had missed it.
So Thanksgiving is our day. To celebrate with family. Then I am gonna blow up crazy Facebook with the news and then let the planning of my barefoot bohemian wedding begin!
All my love always,
He stared into me, as if he could see the very blood that boiled and coursed through my veins. His eyes a mirror of passion and want. One that could not be satiated. His eyes spoke volumes of his love and his commitment to me. And for once in my life, I knew love, knew passion, and knew peace like I had never known. And he was the one to give it to me. Like a man who had freed a caged bird. Only to have the bird return and stay within the secure confines of his love, for all eternity.