When I was going through my drama with my ex husband, my emotional cheating, my unhappiness, all of the lies that my ex decided he should tell me he had been doing to me over the years, I had one longing.
I waned to belong to someone. That someone at the time was Dick.
Now my drama continued, but the day before my birthday I was told by Dick that he found someone else. A real person. Instead of the imaginary relationship he and I were living 2000 miles away from each other. I was hurt and angry. But I understood. He knew that I wasn’t going to go there if he didn’t ask. He wasn’t going to ask. So there really was no hope. There are places on this blog where I have written in those early times how I just wanted to be his. That longing moved onwards into my next serious relationship with Carlos. There was no point that I ever felt like his either.
This feeling is primitive. Feminists will probably say that real woman don’t feel the need to belong to a man. Well I have news for you. This is a feeling that was GOD given. We need our other half. NEED.
Joseph tells me all the time that I am his. I love it. It is wonderful. He always means it.
We had a powerful moment the other night. Lying in bed. Just talking, snuggling. Yes, yes, there was some groping. But just the sweet kind. I saw him smile. I love that sight, because I know I am the reason why he smiles. Or at least a main reason.
“I love to make you smile, you look so happy. I love that”, I say.
He hugs me tight, my face against his neck.
“I smile because you make me happy. You don’t really don’t have to do anything. I smile because you are mine.” he says simply.
It wasn’t a complicated sentence. It wasn’t a proposal, though we have talked about getting married many times. It was a statement of fact. It reaffirmed what I already knew. I am his. He is mine. No questions, no drama. Just a simple, wonderful love.
That is all I ever wanted. It was exactly what we both needed. I smile because it’s true.
Things have been super crazy this week. Our dog died, my ex is a dramatic sick person who pushes drama into our lives, and a ticket for making a left turn from the wrong lane is making my financial life miserable. If you asked me though, I really wouldn’t have it any other way. Money never made me happy.
It turns out, all I needed was love.
Just say yes.