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Depression is scary. It is something that causes such problems in this world. 

I currently find myself fighting depression. This is a problem for me because I am sad about nothing. Which is frustrating and complicated. Let me explain.

A little more than a month ago my doctor stuck me on some anti-depressants to help reduce the sensitivity of my pain receptors for some pain I have in my side that is still there and still unexplained. Now it did it’s job perfectly. It got rid of my pain. But I got something I didn’t expect. I became depressed. I love that a medication that is designed to ward off this kind of thing can cause it in a person who isn’t depressed. 

The doctor has taken me off of it, and I find myself feeling worse all the time as I have to wait for my body to return to normal. I have been informed this could take 2-3 weeks. Brilliant. I love explaining daily to my children that I am not upset with them. I just feel super sensitive to everything and very overwhelmed by everything. It doesn’t take much. I fell behind on the laundry and nearly cried about it this morning.

The lucky part is that I have a strong support system and after reaffirming the kids I can at least breath easy that I don’t have to reaffirm Joseph. He has been depressed, he knows its the medication and he is being so wonderful and supportive in affirming me and lifting me up. I don’t think I could deal with all these ups and downs without him. It would be too hard. Too rough on me. 

So it is possible to be sad, and angry and hurt, and even depressed about nothing. It is the most frustrating thing (next to dealing with my ex) that I have dealt with in this life so far. I just have to remember that God is stronger than this and so am I. I can get through anything. I am tough, beautiful and I just have to wait this thing out. 

To anyone struggling with depression, please reach out for help. There are people who love you, and need you and want to help you reach a better place in this life. I never thought I would have to ask for help. That little extra love, that little extra push. But right now I need it, and I am glad that I can ask for and get help from those around me who love me.

All my love,

Lady X

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