She made him a Valentine

My oldest Faith is a tough cookie. Out of all the kids my divorce was hardest on her. Not because she wanted me to be unhappy with her dad. But just because she wanted to NOT have a step dad. 

So she has made baby steps with Joe. She made him an unprompted Valentine. My heart melted. So did Joe’s. 

Today she made him a Mii on the Wii. I am the luckiest mommy in the world. And the luckiest girl.

Today is my one year anniversary and as I wait for Joseph to get home from work (he opened) and I make breakfast for us all this girl is thanking God for all her blessings. Happy is an understatement.

 

Be loved and happy because it is a crime to be anything less.

Love,

Lady X

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Home Sweet Home

The wonder of being home is having my girls within arms distance. It is wonderful and brilliant and makes my life lighter and easier. I feel very stressed out when the girls aren’t home. It is a long and painful weekend when they are gone. There is no end to the worrying and there is no end to me waiting for a text or a call to come and get them.

My ex isn’t a nice man. The drama over me going to New York was insane. He made my mom pick up Sarah and her “phantom” fever on Saturday night. I am sure to make me worry. She wasn’t sick at all. Then since my mom had to pick up Sarah and her sisters (based on his hurt hip from helping the girls clean their room) she had the girls, which in turn made my sister mad so that 15 seconds after I stepped off the plane back home I am in a huge fight with my sister over my ex ruining her weekend with the boys. The rare chance she decides to do something with the boys my ex ruins it and then creates a huge fight for me. 

I hate when he wins.

Then when all of that drama is over, resulted in Joe dragging me from my moms apartment so that I wouldn’t needlessly fight anymore. My mom took the girls back to John, because now that hes had a night off he feels much better and wants them back. I would keep them for myself if it wasn’t for the fact that the girls want to go be with him. 

So as I sit here, with the happy noise of my girls playing, Aimee drawing next to me, kisses from Sarah periodically and listening to Faith complain about computer time I am in bliss. Joe beside me grinding away at endless homework, movie plans in the works for later, and me, just happy to sit here and be in the midst of it all. Blessed beyond measure. Happy girl, blessed by God and just content to be me.

 

Love Always,

Lady X

Fighting

The other day while Joseph was studying, he looked over at me and said he wondered what my angry face looked like. I thought this was an interesting thing for him to say. So after I giggled I tried my hardest to show him what my angry face would look like were he to be the unfortunate fellow of having earned having it aimed in his direction.

It was fail. I couldn’t do it. Everytime I looked at him I just felt happy and since I suck at faking things I couldn’t make the angry face therefor he still doesn’t know what it looks like.

It occurred to me today that Joseph and I haven’t fought a single time in the course of a year. I thought about it while working so hard this morning at work, that I haven’t been mad at him over the course of the year he and I have been together. He is literally the most chill person I have ever met. The Zen master if you will. Calm 90% of the time. The other 10% I save for angry video games played in PVP which takes the most calm person and turns them into a raving lunatic. (self included)

I think our compatibility plays a huge part in this. Our matching love languages helps as well. Being a touch and quality time person means that neither of us finds the other in deficit at a lack of gift giving. We do give each other gifts. But most of the time it is cheesy and small.

So what is the post about today? We I was thinking that I know looking at the two of us from the outside you can see the love, the passion and the dedication we have for each other. But I wonder if people knew that we don’t fight, we get along well, if they would think that we somehow lack that passionate note because of a lack of drama.

The answer?

It is no. We are hotter than ever. I am surprised daily how the level of want has not decreased one bit over the time we have spent together. It still feels new. Each kiss still feels like the first. I have to say that I expected it to change.  I thought that perhaps the relationships that I saw belonging to friends of mine that were couples were an amazingly rare thing or just bolstered up to make them look better. I didn’t actually think they existed.

I am glad to say I know otherwise now. I am glad the fire is still white hot and bright after a year, no boredom, no end in sight. I feel a sense of security and calm in that sentence. I take heart in knowing that JOseph feels the same. And I am happy that my girls can see a healthy relationship of love. Rather than the one they knew before. And now that they see it at least they have stopped asking the question, “Why doesn’t Joe yell Mommy?”

He doesn’t yell because he isn’t angry. Case and point.

 

I am chattily avoiding my math homework so I will bid you adieu for now.  I will enter more info later. Until then…

 

All of my love always,

Lady X

Homeward Bound

Sitting pretty in first class at 45,000 feet isn’t too bad. A little breakfast, some vodka and orange juice and I feel less like gripping the arm until I feel my finger nails tear off. The beginning of the flight is still rough for me. I still feel like I should be on the ground. Joseph and I didn’t get to sit together so take off was worse with no hand to hold. No shoulder to lean my head on. I am grateful to be on a non stop flight since it was looking like we were going to get stuck on a flight to Chicago and then home. So this is way better. 

 

All I can see out my window for miles is clouds. Beautiful and amazing. This trip has been perfect and wonderful. I am happy to be going home to the girls for sure though, I miss them terribly. A little break and back to the grind. I am glad that I have tomorrow off to get some rest. My legs want a break. 

 

We walked miles through downtown. I can’t wait to load all my pictures off my phone and camera. Skating on the ice at Rockefeller center was magical. No other way to describe it. We went to Nintendo land while waiting for our turn, and Joseph bought me a yoshi hat and some mushroom socks. I am super excited to wear those!  We didn’t get to see the memorial or the Statue of liberty, but we did walk in Central park, I got to kiss Joseph on the ice and hold hands while skating which I have always wanted to do. It amazes me the things that I didn’t get to do as a teenager. The things that other kids my age got to do. I never had a boy to hold hands with while skating. And while it may sound gay and lame. It was a dream come true for me. And it couldn’t have made me smile bigger. Every moment of dinner just in peaceful quiet, watching the other skaters, catching glimpses of Joseph looking at me, him catching me looking at him. It is still amazing to be with him. It is still goose bumps and butterflies. It has almost been a year. A wonderful year, and it went by so fast. (I also still rock on ice skates so that just made it better)

 

I let him lead the way the whole time we were there and we used our phone gps to help us find what we were looking for. Some things were just too far. So we opted for what we could get to with our feet. Not wanting to get lost. Using our time wisely. 

 

Had the best cup of coffee ever at Stumptown Coffee house. Hand pressed espresso is so much better. What a different taste! And it was just neat to walk around. We saw the library in New York, the architecture is something to be seen. So beautiful and intricate. What are the amazing stories behind these buildings I wonder. 

 

We walked through portions of Central park. What a beautiful place, the natural rock that is all over that park is so beautiful. We opted to walk because honestly I didn’t think a 20 minute ride in a horse carriage was worth $50. 

 

Another wonderful thing about visiting New York is all the amazing old architecture that is there. Joseph and I talked as we walked over the different amazing things we saw. We took pictures, drew lines with our hands to trace some of the lines and symmetry in the work. The sad thing is that since commercialism and tourism own New York all these amazing buildings have ugly stores at the bottom. No preservation. It really is sad. I didn’t get to photograph St. Patricks church because it is being restored. So  that was a no go. 

 

All in all it was perfect, I wish our flight this morning wasn’t so stupid early but thats what you get flying standby. But on our way home, happy to rest for the remainder of the day I am glad that our trip was short, I am glad that we got to see all the things we did see, spend time together (which is so rare right now) and I am perfectly happy to have gotten to spend my first time in the Big Apple with my love.

 

I am a lot lately, but I say it again. I am happy. Just ask Dave. Spaceman says it all.

 

All my love,

Lady X

Eyes Wide Open

 

 

Once upon a time, before Joseph and I were a couple, we had a conversation (induced by tequila) about what makes a good kisser.

 

The conversation talked about compatibility with the person, reading cues, body language, attraction. Something I never thought of, and something he said that he did, was look at the person you were kissing.

 

This sounded like romantic blasphemy to me. Why would you do that? Doesn’t that ruin the mood, take away from the moment? And so I tested this theory of course. When Joseph first kissed me I didn’t open my eyes, but later, when I felt more comfortable I did. And I felt awkward at first, but it changed into something very personal, very intimate. I realized how much your eyes can share with a person when you look at them while sharing something so intimate as a kiss.

 

The kama sutra talks about it too. It amazed me when I read the kama sutra that it is less about sexual pleasure and more about connection. About reaching that pure intimacy with the person that you love. Opening your eyes for a passionate kiss allows you to look into someones feelings. It isn’t an obtrusion, it is a look at how someone really feels while they kiss you.

 

I have alway felt like kissing is one of the ways that you can show someone you how you feel. Put all those emotions into that moment and really give them that feeling that you are there. And opening my eyes, looking into Joseph’s and taking that moment to really see how he feels, show him how I feel is so intimate that it is more earth shattering for me and my girly heart that the best orgasm. Because I am a girl I can say that.

 

So while this post isn’t very long, I want to share with you a moment that you can have that you may be missing. An intimacy that you haven’t shared with your love before.  A look that you are missing, adoration in your lovers eyes. Try it sometime. It may change your life.

 

Always with all of my love,

Lady X

25,000 Feet

 

I am currently flying and that is something I just don’t do. I am in awe of how beautiful the world is. Amazingly created to say the least. It earth is whizzing below me at insane speeds and I am sitting in a chair with barely anything between me and the clouds.

 

The world is a brilliant patchwork below me. Cheesy and said a million times but lots of people who have flown but I am glad that I have this chance to look over the world and see how amazing and beautiful it is. Since the last time I flew I was 14 years old and the flight was short this is amazing. It was scary and I am not going to lie, my lady brain cried at the airport at the thought of flying anywhere without my babies. I can’t want to show them the pictures that I have taken from the plane. It is truly a sight. I hope that someday soon I can take them somewhere so they can see this amazing view of the earth we live on.

 

I spend lots of time thinking about the world. I look at pictures of space and I wonder what it is like up there and now I am closer to space than I ever have been. It is amazing and I wonder sometimes what it must be like to be a pilot or an astronaut.

 

As I am flying to New York City, one of the most beautiful cities to photograph I am a little sad that I left my camera gear at home, but I wanted this to be a trip for fun. A brilliant day of celebration for Valentine’s day and Joe and I’s one year anniversary. I can’t believe that it has already been a year. What an amazing, crazy year. I never thought that I would find someone  that fit me so completely. I really do feel like he is my missing puzzle piece. I feel whole. God never meant for any of us to be alone. And for years I felt that way. It is amazing not to feel alone anymore. I feel like I can breath a sigh of relief.

 

With less than 13 awake hours in the big apple we have a busy day ahead of us. More pictures to be taken, laughs to be had. Ice to be skated on.

Did I mention that we are going ice skating at Rockafeller center? That is the main event this evening. Dinner and skating. Perfection.

 

It is an amazing and perfectly beautiful day. I can’t wait to get there.

 

I literally can”t get over how beautiful the world is. As I type this, without looking mind you I am just looking over everything. The winding rivers, the tiny buildings, I am far too high to see cars, but that doesn’t keep me from pressing my face against the window and trying.

 

As we pass over a city I can see some tiny little cars. It amazes me to think of the people inside off to their day. Sigh.

 

Funny enough my phone takes better pictures than the point and shoot that I got.

 

The plane is bumping around a little which freaks me out.  But I am doing good, so proud of myself for fighting my fear and going on an adventure. I hope I get to see mountains. I have seen hills and they look amazing and wonderful.  I feel blessed just having been able to see all of this!

 

I will update more later. As for me, I am giddy, happy, blessed and ready for an amazing celebration.

 

🙂

 

Lady X

 

Work Rant

I was awoke this morning from a text message from a coworker that I messed up the milk order. Brilliant. This falls in line with all of my other failures this last week while I am in training for my promotion to be a shift supervisor at Starbucks.

I want so much to be good at my job. And getting a promotion at Starbucks to shift supervisor was great. The raise was nice. More than I expected and the boss that drove me crazy is gone replaced my a female ginger that I really like.

But my coworker who got promoted at the same time with me is making it hard to not hate him. And that sucks, cause before the promotion I mostly liked him.

Now he wants to point out every time I get something wrong. And it is driving me crazy.  I get it, it is possible that he will be better at this in the beginning than me because he is naturally an asshole. But I just really am not going to put up with him doing this to me constantly. I really am going to give him one more week of this and if he keeps it up I will tell him, then I will tell my boss. I don’t want to hate my job because the person I thought was a friend has decided it is fun to pick on me for all of my short comings.

It is making me hate working with him and it is making me even more self conscious about my job. It is hard to make the transition into being a boss, now I have to do it with a parrot on my shoulder telling me all of the things I do wrong.

Awesome. What a great morning this has turned out to be.

 

Maybe I will get lucky and my coworker will fail miserably somewhere today and I can hear about it later. I know that is petty but at this moment I don’t care.