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Well bloggers, I am deeply sorry to have been gone so long. My iPad being missing hinders my writing greatly. It was its intended purpose to be my writing tool and I exercised it well while I had it. Now I have to write at my desktop and it just isn’t the same.

So for now small tidbits when I manage it is what you will get.

So the low down on whats going on.

Work:

Well I am getting ready for some coffee ambassador stuff for Starbucks so that is exciting. This is my last weekend to myself before every weekend is taken up in part for that project. I am excited to be a part of it and when I know more you will too. Pictures even!

Kids:

Well fighting with my ex seems to be all I can do if I talk to him on the phone so avoiding talking is the best idea. I keep hoping he will give up completely on being a dad. He isn’t that great at it every other weekend and he doesn’t take them anymore in the middle of the week like normal visitation. Why can’t he just give it up all together so I don’t have to play damage control over what happens at dads everytime the kids come back? This issue continues to be a problem but with not much to do about it right now I just have to deal.

He also swears he lost my old boudoir that I told him he needed to give me. Sure you did. Guys totally lose naked pictures. Right…..

The good thing is that the kids are starting to notice on their own about all that noise. The good news of the month? Both older kids are doing great in school (minus the sick 3 days we have had with asthma drama) and my youngest is starting to work towards sleeping in her tiny toddler bed that is next to mine. I love her but she needs to go! She takes up more room than a grown ass adult!

Love:

This aspect now includes the girls. My heart bursts at the thought. This coming weekend will be the third weekend in a row and more to come with Joe always here with me. I miss him during the week when he goes home. He does so well with the girls. And they just geek out over his minecraft knowledge and all the geeky things he can help them with. He and my oldest worked hard building while I was past out Saturday night. We had what just felt like an amazing family weekend. I made dinner and breakfast and we hung out with my crazy family and he worked on his homework, he used my belly as scratch paper for his trig homework. We just did every day normal crap and it was so great. So NORMAL. Just perfect.

This past weekend on Sunday when it was time for him to go home the conversation went down like this:

Me: I hate this part. (insert pouty face here)

Joe: I know babe. Come lay with me.

So I go lay with him, he buries his face in my neck.

Joe: Believe me I am going to miss you so much. (I burst inside just to relive this moment)

Me: I miss you now

We just lay there in the quiet.

Joe: I don’t want to go home.

Me: I don’t want you to

And he stays. I snuggle up to his back and just inhale all that smell that is him and peace floods over me.

I tell him all the time that I love having him in my space.

Pictures:

So two weeks ago I did my boudoir portrait session. I threw a few pics on here. It was the best time. I felt the most sexy ever. Spent the majority of the time just a bit tipsy and I am already planning the next one. I see a steampunk and a burlesque one in my future. Those will take time to plan but I am excited just at the prospect.

With my last super free weekend coming up I am going to laze around, read, maybe write, possibly draw a little, and watch my honey study and maybe even work on our little minecraft world. I have to be without my girls for the weekend and for that I am sad. I miss them terribly when they are with Dad, but I know that they need that, even if it isn’t the greatest time for them, at least maybe in time they can understand better why I didn’t stay.

Future:

No idea peeps. I just really want to play in my art, spend time with my loved ones, love unabashedly and without restraint (well maybe rope or scarves but that is a bit different) and I want to share with others all the love that feels like it is over flowing out of me in waves.

I am tired, over worked, under paid, totally broke, but I am blessed by God with gorgeous girls, the most amazing love of my life, a family who is crazy but loves me and helps me in ways most wouldn’t and I am a beautiful Daughter of God.

Who could have it better than me? I think no one.

Sorry so long all I just miss you so much!

Love Always,

Lady X

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