I have done everything in this life a little later than everyone else. My teen years seemed to have started after I left my now ex husband.
When i was younger I wanted to date, I wanted piercings and tattoos. I didn’t do any of these things. I got with my ex when I was seventeen and we stayed together till I was 30. I left 3 months after I turned 30. My first tattoos and body piercings happened right after and I consider myself now apart of the mysterious world of dating.
So why the prelude when the post is entitled tequila? Well I never drank either. I had no reason, no taste for it. I didn’t start even testing the waters on this till my late twenties. I Still have only been drunk enough to get sick and have a hangover once. I try to be a bit reserved in my drinking. I am getting better but luckily my taste is expensive so I am too spoiled to be a drunk. I need the good stuff and since that stuff is expensive I only drink occasionally.
Now the post is entitled tequila because this is my favorite. Give me some Cabo Wabo Blanco tequila, some salt and lime, a funny movie, and a pack of Camel turkish silver and I am 5×5 for the perfect giddy evening of giggling and perhaps some naughty behavior I may have otherwise been too sober for. (I doubt this but I haven’t tried it so I can’t say for sure)
So I hate drinking alone, another reason I wont worry that I am on my way to becoming an alcoholic. It’s depressing that way. I need someone to get crazy bombed with. The usual choice is Joe. He is my tequila drinking buddy. He is also one of the few people that has actually seen me drunk like that. Carlos has too, but he and I were both so bombed on tequila that everything is just a mist of dizzy conversation and tingly skin that we didn’t dare touch.
So why a post on tequila? Well because it is yummy, and it just makes me want to dance, to giggle, and feel free. Let me fly I say! Now, I do feel a little like Jack Sparrow does about Rum with my tequila. I look at the empty bottle and wonder why all my tequila is gone, then I look at my empty shot glasses, the eaten limes, and listen to my giggles and I know why. Perhaps my love of tequila comes from the fact that it has helped me realize that all alcohol has an effect and it isn’t always the same. Vodka makes me loud, and obnoxious, rum makes me sleepy, mixed drinks don’t do much for me anymore. Tequila makes me giggly, happy and brilliantly funny. Duh, I am drunk so of course its funny.
I wonder sometimes if perhaps the free feeling is just an extension of me feeling like no matter what I am still in a prison. A prison of fear of showing who I am. Fear that I won’t be accepted. Now while I think of this deeply (I said deeply, lol) I know this, While I am afraid, I don’t care anymore what others think. I am me, I love it, its my preference to be me. I have been someone else for far too long for me to want to ever go back to that. Someone unlocked my cage, I think it was Dick, and he let me out. I have felt the sun on my face, felt the wind in my hair. I can never go back to the sunless caged existence from before. I am free. Free to be me, free to live, to love, to play, to run, and yes, to fly.
This post started off wonky, but yes while I feel free’er with the yummyness of tequila, I don’t need it. I like it, but I am loud, and amazing, and wonderful, strong, and brilliant and its all me. So the realization that occurs is that I need nothing to be me and to be free. Just to remember that I am free, free to fly.
Dont be afraid to let go of what weighs you down and fly. My favorite blogger Nowan Zen said that. Be free.