Drifting

My thoughts, my words a figure of who I am. They give form to the lifeless swirling void of information that swirls inside me. Threatning all life and love if I don’t allow it an avenue at which to break free.

Somedays I feel like the words are all I have. The things in this life that are so temporary, so fleeting, the words stay. They are ever present, ever growing. Always constant. They are here, providing me with comfort and sometimes providing me with moments of insanity. The kind that doesn’t get me out in jail, or get me into trouble. I am not one for getting into trouble. That is why all my drinking friends are safe. No worries about being taken advantage of. Sadly.

Depending on the moment I may want to take advantage of them. Though I can’t take advantage of Sammy (shes a girl) and my door swings just the one way. Though I did tell her once we should give Joe a threesome just because we pick on him so. She choked on her drink and it was freakin hilarious.

Today, I dont feel good. Allergies and asthma plague me, have left me tired and listless, and the dayquil and redbull are hopefully my ticket to feeling more awake so I can work a long long shift at the Bucks tonight. I know I will snap out of it, I just have to wait it out. Tonight’s tequila and movie may have to be postponed if I don’t feel better. Sigh.

My naughty story posted before this has had good reviews from my friends. I am indeed a writer at heart. Now if I could get paid for the writing or the photography I could work at the Bucks for fun and just do the other stuff to pay the bills.

This post has no direction and I apologize, I am drifting like a ship at sea, no wind in my sails. Just going where the thoughts take me. Though I try not in my medicated stupor to travel down any roads that may bring me into the point of whining. Though I am sure I have epicly failed at that anyway. Damn you stupid allergies, damn you asthma, damn you lack of restful sleep. The fitful, jumbled dream mess of sleep that I participated in last night shouldn’t count for anything. It was worthless.

My heart races in my chest, asthma meds, redbull and dayquil. Bad combo? Maybe. There will be lots of witnesses to my downfall if I fall out at work. Indeed that moment, will not be as funny as I would like it to be. Sigh. If you freak out it is supposed to be funny, I certainly don’t want to worry anyone.

My ramblings are useless. My heart rate has slowed down some. I wish I could take a nap. Its too close to work though. It will just make me more tired. The day will go so slow. I won’t even know what to do with myself. Sigh sigh sigh.

Till later dearest blog.

All My Love,
Lady X

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