This post was supposed to be cool. The yesterday it was supposed to be about amazing family friend park day, then later on yesterday this post was supposed to be how my six year old fell down a ditch at the park and got two staples in her head.
Now this post is about how it is after six am, and I think I have slept all of thirty minutes since I have been home from work. I got home at midnight. Insomnia is new to me. I am not used to being stuck awake. I really feel like I should be able to lay down and go to sleep. Feel that pleasant rest wash over me. Instead I am awake, no hope for escape from the hopeless lack of rest that plagues me currently. I am up, and my head hurts and I am tired and I have so much to do today that I am anxious about how to get it all done, rest at some point and then close up Starbucks tonight.
It’s just plain not fair.
I’m so tired I can’t sleep. My head swarms with so many thoughts. So many things, things I can’t escape thinking of. People, places, things. I am a story book, and someone left me open, they left my inner tv set turned on and I am unable to find the sleep button, or the restart. Wish the power button behind my ear actually worked. I would have powered down hours ago.
So what do I do? I seek solace in the words of this blog. Feel them pour out of me, leave me words. Leave me be, let me rest, just a few hours before the day begins yet I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to survive today on no sleep. I know I work in a coffee shop but espresso only works for so long. Then it is ineffective.
Jimi thing is playing on my iPad right now. It’s fitting. All I want is what I don’t got, but what I need is all around me.
If you could Keep me floating, just for a while.
I’d like to show you what’s inside, but I sure don’t care if you don’t like it.
Oh please sleep. Please.
Time for a snack and another attempt at sleep.
Think of me blogger peeps as I meander my way through this long day.
All my love,