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Why? I did so much yesterday, yet I lie here engulfed in insomnia now waiting for the stack of medication to relieve my pain and let me rest.

I am wracked in pain. Physical this time. My body hates me. Being a girl sucks, and even the good stuff is just taking the edge off. I find myself starving, eating in the middle of the night when I shouldn’t, head hurting, body aching and I am unable to find comfort in sleep. This is the latest I have been up in weeks. I need to reinstate my diet, get to excersizing again and pray sleep comes back to me. Park day is going to start later than intended at this rate. I’m gonna need a lot of red bull in the morning.

So you know what I have to say to you sleep, please come back. My original stement of, fuck you sleep, doesn’t seems as smart, since maybe that will make you want to stay away.

So in my delirium, my exuastion, my inevitable ability to think more on the Lonliness that three am holds, I pray for rest, for dreamless rest filled sleep that isn’t plagued by pain and Lonliness but filled with a grateful heart that just wants to be rested for a fun day with her babies at the park, with friends and family.

Let me rest oh Lord, please?

Praying for sleep,
Lady X

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