My thoughts, my words a figure of who I am. They give form to the lifeless swirling void of information that swirls inside me. Threatning all life and love if I don’t allow it an avenue at which to break free.

Somedays I feel like the words are all I have. The things in this life that are so temporary, so fleeting, the words stay. They are ever present, ever growing. Always constant. They are here, providing me with comfort and sometimes providing me with moments of insanity. The kind that doesn’t get me out in jail, or get me into trouble. I am not one for getting into trouble. That is why all my drinking friends are safe. No worries about being taken advantage of. Sadly.

Depending on the moment I may want to take advantage of them. Though I can’t take advantage of Sammy (shes a girl) and my door swings just the one way. Though I did tell her once we should give Joe a threesome just because we pick on him so. She choked on her drink and it was freakin hilarious.

Today, I dont feel good. Allergies and asthma plague me, have left me tired and listless, and the dayquil and redbull are hopefully my ticket to feeling more awake so I can work a long long shift at the Bucks tonight. I know I will snap out of it, I just have to wait it out. Tonight’s tequila and movie may have to be postponed if I don’t feel better. Sigh.

My naughty story posted before this has had good reviews from my friends. I am indeed a writer at heart. Now if I could get paid for the writing or the photography I could work at the Bucks for fun and just do the other stuff to pay the bills.

This post has no direction and I apologize, I am drifting like a ship at sea, no wind in my sails. Just going where the thoughts take me. Though I try not in my medicated stupor to travel down any roads that may bring me into the point of whining. Though I am sure I have epicly failed at that anyway. Damn you stupid allergies, damn you asthma, damn you lack of restful sleep. The fitful, jumbled dream mess of sleep that I participated in last night shouldn’t count for anything. It was worthless.

My heart races in my chest, asthma meds, redbull and dayquil. Bad combo? Maybe. There will be lots of witnesses to my downfall if I fall out at work. Indeed that moment, will not be as funny as I would like it to be. Sigh. If you freak out it is supposed to be funny, I certainly don’t want to worry anyone.

My ramblings are useless. My heart rate has slowed down some. I wish I could take a nap. Its too close to work though. It will just make me more tired. The day will go so slow. I won’t even know what to do with myself. Sigh sigh sigh.

Till later dearest blog.

All My Love,
Lady X


The Game

In my need for some intellectual foreplay last night, and with no one to play with I decided to write some girl porn. I wrote this fairly quickly and it is a bit juicy so I forewarn you that if you don’t want to read my dirty one night stand story that is equivalent to dirty romance story the read no further. Otherwise read on. It is pretty good.

The noise from the crowd roared as the last out for the inning was made. She got up from her seat and asked if anyone wanted anything. Beers, duh, everyone said.

Cara smiled and nodded to her friends and headed towards concessions. She wasn’t a huge baseball fan but she loved to watch the game and have fun with her friends while she was there. Plus, who doesn’t love to look at all the man eye candy that is just everywhere when it comes to sports. Cara would be happy to just walk around alone for the entire game admiring some seriously sexy ass and not give one wit about the game.

Isaac stood in line, waiting to get more drinks. The game was going great, the Rangers were up by two points and had just finished striking out the other team. It was time for beers and cheers according to his friend Matt so here he was, getting beers so they could have the cheers part. And just like that he saw her. Long brown hair, big brown eyes, and the sweetest lips he had ever seen. And that was just the glimpse he got over the heads of the other people in line. He had a couple of options, did he lose his place in line to try to get a better look or lose her in the crowd. Interesting, his cursiosity was peaked so he decided he would get a better look. He left his place in line and headed for the line that she had just climbed into. He was in luck that no one had gotten in line behind her. Lucky me, he thought.

Cara had seen the dark and handsome man look at her, she averted her eyes when she saw his gaze, she didn’t want to seem like she had been staring. His dark eyes and thick black hair had her mesmerized and when he looked up and she saw the five o’clock shadow on his face she was instantly aware of how sexy he was. Add some jeans and a black button up shirt and all she could think of was how this man looked without his clothes. And that was unusual for her. She didn’t usually think straight to sex but this man had her mind tearing his clothes off and bing a very bad girl. Then she saw him leave his line and jump into hers. Oh boy, this man may be getting himself into some serious trouble.

When Isaac walked behind the mystery lady he was aware that she was perfectly curvey in all the right places. He was also aware that she wasn’t too much shorter than him. His 5’8 seemed a perfect match to what he could guess was her 5’3. He looked down at her back and followed that long hair to the small of her back and down to her hips, he actually had to resist the urge to grab her hips and pull her close. He didn’t even know this woman!

“I am sure that you have heard this a million times, but I have to say it, you are extremely beautiful”. Isaac said, inches from her ear.

Cara was taken by surprise that not only did this sexy man take the time to leave his shorter line to come to hers, but got irresistibly close and then called her beautiful. This was her chance, get out of her comfort zone, take the big plunge, be the naughty girl. She knew he was still close so she turned to face him, she was just inches from his face/ She could smell his cologne, and it sent her senses reeling. She put her hand on his chest.
“I do hear it often, but not from men nearly as sexy as you.” She batted her eyelashes at him and added a little lip biting for good measure. She felt his pulse pick up.

Holy smokes was this woman hot, and now she was touching him. He looked down at her hand and then watched as the blood rushed to her freshly nibbled lip. To say he had a reaction was an under statement. It is possible that he had never wanted any woman they way that he wanted this strange mysterious woman that was standing in front of him at a beer concession touching him as if they had known each other, intimately, for years.

“Ma’am I am not gonna lie, I am speechless.” Isaac said back to her. He really didn’t know what to say. She giggle and it was the cutest thing he had seen, and damn him if it didn’t make her all the more sexy.

Watching his reaction made her feel confident and sexy and with the power to have made his pulse race and taken away his ability to think she wanted nothing more than to make sure he had no reason to talk. Her friends wouldn’t miss her. She wondered if this mysterious man would be interested in leaving the game a bit early.

“I am not in the habit of letting strange sexy men take me home, but if you aren’t terribly interested in the game that is going on, I have no objections to leaving with you right now.” Cara figured she couldn’t possibly be anymore forward than that. She wanted to either take this man into a quiet place here or go knock the pictures off the walls at his place. She didn’t really care. For once, she was just going to be driven by feeling and indeed this man looked like he would feel damn good and be fun too.

“Little lady I couldn’t say no to an offer like that. So then let me escort you to my car.” Isaac had never had a girl be so forward with him, and since it wasn’t just any girl, but this beautiful woman who had not only sparked his interest but had taken away his train of thought he would take a chance. He really had nothing to lose. He took her hand in his and laced his fingers in hers. An appropriate gesture to him since he was going to take her home with him and he led her out of the stadium.

Cara’s heart raced in her chest. She was excited and nervous and honestly she was trying to figure out how she was going to make the drive back to this mysterious man’s home without ravaging him in his car. She clasped tightly to his hand, and placed her other hand over his, drawing little circles with her fingers, making sure he knew she was already thinking of things to do with her hands.

Isaac had trouble thinking about where the car was, once they were in the parking lot and the people thinned out all he could think of was tasting this strange brilliant woman who asked to be taken home with him. When they got close to the car he saw he was parked right next to the wall, he led her to the passenger side but instead of opening the car door he pushed her against the wall. Two could play the assertive game. He put his hands on her hips and go real close, he felt her hands slide up his shirt. He put his nose against hers, and whispered, “You just might be the most dangerous woman I have ever met.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” She whispered back. She leaned in just a tad, and he needed no further invitation. He leaned down and kissed her like a lover. He didn’t hold back as he would have for a date. He thrust his tongue into her mouth desperate to taste her. He pressed her into the wall and took it all. And she gave every ounce she had back. She tasted him, nibbled at his lip and when he pulled her closer he heard her moan in his mouth and he had to do his best just to hold back from tearing off her clothes right here. She slid her hands into his thick hair and pulled him as close as she could get him, he grabbed her hips and pulled her as close as he could get, he had never wanted anyone like this. He had known this woman for maybe 15 minutes and he couldn’t wait to be buried inside her. He pulled away.

“I gotta get you home.” he said.

Her breathing was coming fast, and her lips were swollen from the kiss and he just wanted to kiss her till he couldn’t think of anything else, but he certainly didn’t want to do it in the parking lot.

“Then I do believe that you should open this car door and let me in.” Cara giggled at the thought and she pushed him away just enough that he could see she was ready to get in the car and drive.

Isaac had never been so glad in his life that his condo was so close to the stadium. He held the door open for her, and she slid in. He watched her sit down in the car and wished he had been sliding his hands down her ass and pulling her hips closer as he was plunging deeper and deeper inside her. It was time to drive, and fast.

Once he closed the door nervous excitement poured into Cara. She was so ready to do this, she thought she might just stradle him in the car. But she wanted room to play. She was going to have her way with this man, and it was going to be a long fantastic night. When he climbed into the car and started it, she put her hand on his leg, she leaned in and kissed his neck, licking all the way to his ear,.

“I want you.” she whispered. She put her lips on his neck to feel his pulse quicken, she slid her hand higher up on his leg, slowly.

Isaac shifted the car, he was trying so hard to concentrate on getting to his place in one piece but he had never had someone tease him this way, he certainly had never felt like someone wanted him this way and he hadn’t ever done this before so he was just ready to take this woman with every primal urge he could think of because it was how he wanted her and it was how she wanted him.

“Almost there.” It was the only sentence he could get out. Her mouth was running circles over his neck and ear, and it was all he could do not to wreck the car.

“Good.” She saw him pull into a complex of condos and once she saw him open his little one car garage she slid her hand the rest of the way up. She leaned in close as she heard him gasp, “Somebody wants me.”

He threw the car into park and leaned over and grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her close, only a breath away from her lips, the moan that escaped her lips was all he needed, “I want you.” He captured her mouth with his lips, and plunged his tongue inside, he tasted her, he bit and sucked her lips, and he kissed her till he couldn’t stand to be so far from her. He pulled away and climbed out of the car, he went over to her side of the car and opened the door, he offered her his hand, and she took it. Once she was out of the car, he picked her up and carried her, he was going to get her to a bed faster than her legs were going to carry her, she giggled in delight so he knew that his advances were more than welcome. He through the door open and then he saw the sofa, it was a great place to start. He tossed her down and laid right on top of her, grinding his hips into her and capturing her mouth with his once again while his hands made quick work of her shirt. Her hands weren’t lazy and she had his shirt unbuttoned and she slid her hands up his chest just trying to touch every part of him. Her mouth left his then and she kissed his neck, the licked him, tasting the sweat that she was heating up all over him, she loved the salty taste, she felt him arch his hips into hers in response and she pressed closer to him, loving the feeling of him touching all of her. He grabbed her hands and pinned them to the sofa, he leaned down and kissed her neck, he was tentative at first, then he pressed her down harder and bit her, he heard her moan and this, and he bit her more and more, every nibble, every bite creating the most exquisite noises from her. She arched every time his mouth came in contact with her skin, and when he nibbled her lip and and then licked the same spot she gasped and he captured her mouth anew more furiously as if he could never get enough of the way she tasted. She needed to be closer. She pushed him then, freeing her hands, and forcing him to sit up as she stradled his hips. She needed him closer, she dug her hands into his hair, and he discarded the rest of her shirt and bra on the floor.

His hands came up then and cupped her breasts, she moaned and leaned her head back, he ran his hands over her breasts and when he saw her lean back he saw the passion and the abandon on her face. She was so beautiful. He put his hands on her face and kissed her again, this time he was tender, he went slow, taking his time to kiss every bit of her mouth. The change in his kiss surprised Cara, and it was so intimate and intense that it increased her want for this mystery man all the more. She kissed him back, licking every spot in his mouth, tasting him, teasing him, showing him in her kiss her need, her want, and all of it for him.

He couldn’t take anymore. He cupped her ass and pulled her up and she hooked her legs around his waist. There was a bed to mess up. Her mouth never left his as he half walked, half stumbled to his bedroom. He pushed her against the wall in the hallway, he had to stop, he had to press into her, closer, closer. There was still so much space between them. He could feel her fingers digging into his shoulders, the in his hair, as if she couldn’t touch him enough. She was so desperate to have him. And he was desperate to have her.

“Please!” She moaned. The word alone almost threw him over the edge. He moved her from the wall to the bed, his mouth never leaving hers, he tossed her down then, and he straddled her hips and began unbuttoning the only thing keeping him from what he wanted, what he needed. Her pants. She climbed up on her knees and began kissing him as he unbuttoned her pants, she took the liberty to unbutton his as well. In moments the pants were discarded and they were there lying side by side, naked and wanting. Wanting this moment to be everything that they had led it up to be. She ran her hands down his body and grabbed his erection. She wanted to hear his response and he did not disappoint. His moan was all she needed and her touch was all he needed, before she knew it he was on top, she was pinned to the bed just then, and it was a sexy trick to say the least. He had pinned her arms and he was inches from being inside her. He could feel her running her feet along the backs of his calves, her hips arching. He knew what she wanted, he wanted it too. He leaned in to kiss her, just as his lips barely touched hers he entered her, her moan and the way she arched into him nearly drove him crazy, never had a woman responded to him this way.

When he kissed her and thrust into her she felt all of her inhibitions melt away. She clung to him, her mouth never leaving his, her body matching his rhythm, faster and faster, he kissed her with a passion she had never felt and she would make sure he could feel all the passion that she had for him. She felt all of her slip away as she crept to the edge of release, she clung to him like a life line, as if she let go she might fall away and never be seen again.

He laced his fingers with hers and he thrust deeper and deeper into her. He kissed her without pause, without thought, without holding back. And she met his kiss, his thrusts with every ounce of reckless abandon that she had. She could feel the sweat from their bodies mixing, every bit of her and every bit of him, as one for this moment in time. She couldn’t take it anymore, she was so close, the edge was so near, her breathing grew more rapid and he could tell by the way she clung to his shoulders that she was almost there, he was on the edge too. He pressed deeper then, anxious to be closer, not knowing how to get there, she cried out, her grip tightening on his shoulders, her nails deep in his skin, the louder she got the deeper he wanted to be, she arched into him, and all at once that was it, he felt her shudder, her release and it sent him crashing over the edge,he pressed deeper and deeper and then all at once they were still. She was trembling underneath him, and he realized that he was trembling too. He pushed up to see her face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was the most amazing woman he had ever made love to.

She looked up at his face. The face of a sexy stranger. The face of the man who had just made love to her in a way she never even imagined. He smiled and her heart skipped a beat, she leaned up to kiss his lips, a little nibble maybe. He kissed her back, and it was sweet and sexy and brilliant.

He pulled away and looked her in the eyes.

“My name is Isaac.” He said with a laugh.

“Cara. Nice to meet you.”

Posted in Sex

100th post

This post was supposed to be cool. The yesterday it was supposed to be about amazing family friend park day, then later on yesterday this post was supposed to be how my six year old fell down a ditch at the park and got two staples in her head.

Now this post is about how it is after six am, and I think I have slept all of thirty minutes since I have been home from work. I got home at midnight. Insomnia is new to me. I am not used to being stuck awake. I really feel like I should be able to lay down and go to sleep. Feel that pleasant rest wash over me. Instead I am awake, no hope for escape from the hopeless lack of rest that plagues me currently. I am up, and my head hurts and I am tired and I have so much to do today that I am anxious about how to get it all done, rest at some point and then close up Starbucks tonight.

It’s just plain not fair.

I’m so tired I can’t sleep. My head swarms with so many thoughts. So many things, things I can’t escape thinking of. People, places, things. I am a story book, and someone left me open, they left my inner tv set turned on and I am unable to find the sleep button, or the restart. Wish the power button behind my ear actually worked. I would have powered down hours ago.

So what do I do? I seek solace in the words of this blog. Feel them pour out of me, leave me words. Leave me be, let me rest, just a few hours before the day begins yet I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to survive today on no sleep. I know I work in a coffee shop but espresso only works for so long. Then it is ineffective.

Jimi thing is playing on my iPad right now. It’s fitting. All I want is what I don’t got, but what I need is all around me.

If you could Keep me floating, just for a while.

I’d like to show you what’s inside, but I sure don’t care if you don’t like it.

Oh please sleep. Please.

Time for a snack and another attempt at sleep.

Think of me blogger peeps as I meander my way through this long day.

All my love,
Lady X

Stupid 3am

Why? I did so much yesterday, yet I lie here engulfed in insomnia now waiting for the stack of medication to relieve my pain and let me rest.

I am wracked in pain. Physical this time. My body hates me. Being a girl sucks, and even the good stuff is just taking the edge off. I find myself starving, eating in the middle of the night when I shouldn’t, head hurting, body aching and I am unable to find comfort in sleep. This is the latest I have been up in weeks. I need to reinstate my diet, get to excersizing again and pray sleep comes back to me. Park day is going to start later than intended at this rate. I’m gonna need a lot of red bull in the morning.

So you know what I have to say to you sleep, please come back. My original stement of, fuck you sleep, doesn’t seems as smart, since maybe that will make you want to stay away.

So in my delirium, my exuastion, my inevitable ability to think more on the Lonliness that three am holds, I pray for rest, for dreamless rest filled sleep that isn’t plagued by pain and Lonliness but filled with a grateful heart that just wants to be rested for a fun day with her babies at the park, with friends and family.

Let me rest oh Lord, please?

Praying for sleep,
Lady X

I love geeks

I have it tattooed on my hip for a reason. I just spent the last two hours engaged in conversation about who would win in a fight, Iron Man or Batman. I’m rooting for Iron Man but I have been damn near unanimously out voted on this.

The reason. Batman always has a plan.

I have no argument against this. I love Iron Man and so I am biased. But damn the male geeks are out voting me all over the place. I have had this discussion at work where I am surrounded in a geeky utopia and I stand like the cheese, alone.

I would take the chance to be dramatic but I’m too tired.

If you want to have your say on the matter feel free to comment. I’m off to sleep for park day.

All my geeky love,
Lady X

Sleep, nah…

So daylight savings time, and work have ruined my sleep schedule. I am awake and I have so much to do tomorrow that it is quite ridiculous. Instead I am here, typing absurdities as I lie awake. My bed covered in almost all of my children. This is my own fault. Sickness let me sleep till 1:30pm yesterday so I am sure that has something to do with it. But it is far too late for me to take anything for it now. Sigh. So the late night rantings will continue.

For instance,(graphic and sexual content to follow) self gratification does not make me sleepy. So the hot bath and erotic solo bathtub action was unsuccessful in helping me feel sleepy. In fact, now I am hungry.

And as far as food goes, I don’t need to eat anything this late either. Just another bit of unhappiness at being awake, I’m hungry yet I don’t need to eat. Though now that I think about it, popcorn at the movies with my brother was my dinner. I may have skipped a few meals today. Oops.

I know better than to skip food, now I have a headache and I can’t sleep and I hate everything. I feel like Lara croft in the first movie, when her house was all shot up, and the ups guy was looking around, and she says, “I just woke up this morning and I hated everything.” that’s me right now.

Sleepy, hungry, lonely, disgrunteled. Sigh, I’m a hot mess. Nothing to do but wait till exhaustion claims me. Tomorrow is a red bull day.

Dream sweet dreams, hot dreams, possibly illicit dreams. But do dream and dream big.

Love always,
Lady X

Just plain mad

I spend a lot of time wondering why other people get away with so much. I am speaking in worldly terms so I don’t need a philosophical answer nor do I need to hear about Kharma. I am merely complaining and I promise when I am done I will get off my soap box.

My ex is seeing a therapist, this alone is amusing. But I digress that I can’t tell you why I find it that way. His shrink says that his kids cause his pain. So he doesn’t see them on Wednesdays anymore. So when I went to get them tonight the older ones wanted to stay and he told them they could. My little one wants her older siblings to come home with her, and after a dramatic conversation and me telling them they had to come home I look like the bad guy. I got them frappiccinos so they are happy with me now but it shouldn’t have been an issue. My oldest answers me with, but we don’t see daddy that much anymore. This isn’t my fault. I had nothing to do with that. I let him and the kids figure that out. I hate being the bad guy. I just want to pick up my kids, have them be grateful to see me, and then come home. Is almost worse to get them now. Plus next weekend he gets them on one of my Saturday’s since that is our arrangement since he doesn’t have them on Wednesday anymore.

I just wish I knew what to do. I am a lone single mom. Plus my sister moved out and took her boys so now I am on my own two nights a week for a sitter so I may have to change my availability at work. I’m frustrated and tired, I have been sick for like a month and half, I await for things to get easier and yet they don’t. If this life and all of the hardness that I struggle with is what I get then fine, I want nothing else. But I will continue to pray for a light at the end of the tunnel.

(steps off soap box) you may continue your day.

All my love,
Lady X