Adverb –
1. (a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request)
2. (used to emphasize or introduce a negative statement): Not a single person came to the party, no, not a one.
3. not in any degree or manner; not at all (used with a comparative): He is no better.
4. not a (used before an adjective to convey the opposite of the adjective’s meaning): His recovery was no small miracle.

This is a very interesting word and after much contemplation about the meaning I have decided that over the course of the last two years I have learned something very interesting about me, about how I handle things, and the way I answer people and why I do the things I do. It goes in line with my inability to lie. I can’t lie, its just how I am. I don’t even think I can be taught. Well I have also learned something about the word no. I cant use it. If I want something, or I want to do it, I can’t say no. I have an inability to use this word and I can’t not do what I am asked if I want to.

This is an interesting psychosis, I like to lump it into the catergory of my inability to lie because it seems to be something tthat is damn near involuntary. For instance, just because I know I should say no, but I don’t want to say no means that usually I am going to say yes. Just like if you ask me something and even if I could fabricate a brilliant lie, I still have to tell you the truth. I can’t help it. It is a fatal flaw. Omission is my only way to go as far as lying, (see post on omission)

The problem with the no thing is that sometimes I want to do stuff that is less than good for me. I really really want to. And provided I not posed with a situation in which to participate in this bad I am good. But stick me in a place to indulge in some recreational badness and I think I may be in trouble. I wonder for things like this if they have behavioral control medicine. Just curious since honestly, if I want to do it, and someone asks, its all over. I can’t say no. It isnt just, oh I shouldnt, or I cant, or thats a bad idea, my mind jumps over all of these and heads straight into the Let’s Do It! and consequences for bad behavior be damned and handled later. Now I don’t worry that am going to do anything illegal that will get me put in jail or get me into any serious trouble. I just merely made the complete discovery and I like to check in here before I forget. I find it interesting and it makes me wonder if there are any other areas, emotional, psychological, physical, that I may have other hang ups like this. The no thing, the inability to lie, just makes me curious as to whether or not I have any other issues like this and what they may look like.
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No worries readers, I am not currently participating in something that I will be worried about later. I just thought about this while staring at my glow in the dark star studded cieling at one am, and I really knew I wanted to write this.

So what do I do about this problem? I see me keeping myself out of problem areas that I know are going to get me into trouble and if I do get in trouble. Well I probably won’t tell you until well after the fact. Just to save face.

Peace love and happiness readers and if you get into trouble, be sure to tell me all about it.

Love,
Lady X

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