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Distrust –verb (used with object)
1. to regard with doubt or suspicion; have no trust in.

Trust –noun
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.
3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.
5. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
6. the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed: a position of trust.
7. charge, custody, or care: to leave valuables in someone’s trust.
8. something committed or entrusted to one’s care for use or safekeeping, as an office, duty, or the like; responsibility; charge.

Trust is a human issue that we can all say we have had trouble with at some point. The actual thought of trust and distrust is something that we can be bothered with daily. It is not hard to find yourself distrusting others. I however being one of the most loyal people around did not appreciate being untrusted in my marriage. Now I know that last summer started a whole slew of things that could make me look less loyal and less trustworthy. But I was called a whore, and a cheater, and someone who was not trustworthy years before I deserved it. I can say that it is possible, however, that I felt less guilty for being less trustworthy last summer when I had already been told I wasn’t trustworthy anyway.

Now where am I going with this you might ask? Well I want to examine these two words and the fact that distrust has a tiny definition because it is just that easy to define. Suspicion is a great word. The act of suspecting. Suspecting means you actual just think something is going on. Suspicion is thinking before knowing that something is wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure if you find something wrong then it was brilliant that you were suspicious. But what if nothing was wrong? What if you thought something was going on, and it turned out that there was nothing. Are you relieved, or have you tainted yourself by thinking suspiciously in the first place. And now you will look at everything as if something shady was going on.

I know that occasionally my intuition starts humming and I am waiting for the mack truck of life to slam into me and leave me and my organs as road paint, but I spend a lot of effort and a great deal of my will power fighting the urge to be suspicious of others. It is a dirty road, and I feel like the second that you walk down it you are stuck on it for years before you get over thinking that everything is somehow some strange master plan against you of which everyone around you is in cahoots!

Who wants to feel paranoid all the time?!?!?!?

I sure don’t. Now don’t get me wrong This doesn’t mean that I run around blindly trusting everyone that I come across. I just give a measure more than most people, and usually they do the same for me. I prefer not to be suspicious because it creates that paranoid feeling that stuff is going on when there is an altogether likelihood that nothing at all is going on. So I take the time to evaluate myself when I begin to feel paranoid. My intuition is actually pretty spot on, so rarely do I feel worried without cause. I can say that most of the time I wish I was ignorant. Ignorance is bliss when you don’t have to stress over a feeling of dread that has a good chance of being spot on. Now having intuition does provide me with one thing. I am usually good about reading people. This means that my more than usual measure of trust is rarely wrong so I rarely pay the price for bad trusting decisions. It does happen that I am wrong, but I usually have some warning so at least I am not totally taken by surprise. (Not that my nifty intuition helps you at all. Just sayin…)

Now all that being said, I want you to take a moment and evaluate your current state of trust. Especially with those you should trust. Is it really worth the drama and the pain you cause yourself to worry needlessly? And if you feel justified in your worry than do something about it. Don’t sit and dwell. Figure out if it is worth all the drama in the first place. One last thing before me and my soap box go off to bed. Remember that if you are going to accuse someone of “assumed” drama, be sure it is worth it. If you are wrong you are going to hurt someone. It hurts when your accused of something that you didn’t do. So remember that before you run off on a tangent and start freaking over suspicions and distrust issues that may be false and all your own. Hurting someone needs to be worth it, and most of the time, it isn’t.

Love someone today. It is so totally what GOD would want you to do with your day.

With all my love always,
Lady X

Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell

I always feel
I always feel
I always feel

I’m just an average man
With an average life
I work from 9 to 5
Hey well I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone
In my average home
But why do I always feel
I’m in the twilight zone and

I always feel like
Somebody’s watchin’ me
And I have no privacy
Oh, I always feel like

Somebody’s watching me
Tell me is it just a dream

I always feel
I always feel
I always feel

I always feel like
Somebody’s watching me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like
Somebody’s watchin’ me
Tell me is it just a dream

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