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Victory –noun, plural -ries.
1. a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war.
2. an engagement ending in such triumph: American victories in the Pacific were won at great cost.
3. the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest: The new vaccine effected a victory over poliomyelitis.
4. a success or superior position achieved against any opponent, opposition, difficulty, etc.: a moral victory.
5. ( initial capital letter ) the ancient Roman goddess Victoria, often represented in statues or on coins as the personification of victory.

When going into battle there are only two ways that it can end. You are either victorious or you fail. In this life we will have both. Victories and Epic failures. I like to think that if we try hard we can say that our victories out weigh the failures. But I know this to be untrue. We are a flawed race. Filled with drama and sin. We can’t do very much with messing it up. I have messed up loads. I however have an amazing talent that helps me learn. It is the ability to say I am sorry. Not a lot of people can admit they were wrong, and even if they go as far as to say they made a mistake, saying sorry is almost always too damn hard. Saying sorry is an amazing thing. First off, if you mean it, you feel great afterwards. I always feel better after saying sorry. I also realize that not everyone is going to accept my apologies. So since they don’t always accept it I have to remember that GOD sees my genuine apology and he forgives me. That in itself is all I need. No one’s opinion matters to be but his. People are flawed. Every damn one of us. Why would I look for validation from people who are flawed? It is positively stupid to think that someone who is far from perfect could ever validate me the way GOD can.

So what is all of this talk of victory. Well stress levels have been high this week. The Evil W has been hurling her insults through Carlos all week. Just the other day I was his whore, and I should find myself on a street corner where I belong. I really have held my tongue, not hurled anything back the entire time I have been threatened and insulted, and being driven crazy. Now, today is my day for victory. I have been praying for peace. I try hard to never pray for stuff. Just concepts, good health, peace, love, stuff like that. Then if a peaceful day comes along it is an answered prayer. Be grateful for the little things my friend. Today was finally confrontation day. I told myself that I had enough of being called bad names that weren’t true. I will not be bullied any more. So interestingly enough telling myself, GOD and Carlos that I was going to arrange a meeting so I could get all this crap out in the open was all GOD needed to hear. Maybe he thought I was finally ready to deal with it. So after Carlos and her have it out, she sends me a text that says we need to talk. Then she calls. I ignore her. Not quite ready. I listen to her voicemail and she says that she wants to talk to me from her perspective. I text her and say that I don’t want to fight. It is true. I really hate fighting and I do it poorly. No matter how right I am I can lose a fight (that isn’t based on physical endurance and strenght mind you) and I will find myself depressed and sad that I could so badly be kicked and not be able to fight back. So when W called me I was worried. And GOD was with me. She started to see if she could talk about how bad I was being, all my flaws. My failure as a friend. I would not have it. I was a great friend, as well as wife, and confidant as well. Since she was going to start this way then lets air our friendship dirty laundry. She said no one was there for her when she wanted to leave Carlos, and when she got pregnant and it wasn’t his, and I told her that wasn’t true. I stood by her despite how I thought it was wrong. I held my tongue and supported her in all her decisions. And then when my life got hairy and I needed her it was too much and she abandoned me. She was speechless.

We talked for over an hour. And I counceled her the way I do Carlos when he is being a little less than the smart man he is and needs to be told to knock it off. I was honest, and I was intelligent and GOD was with me, and he helped my words come out the way that he wanted them.

She apologized to me, for the evil things she said. She said she didn’t want to fight anymore. (fighting alone is boring anyway since I refuse to fight back) So while I have no idea how long this will last, I know one thing. Today GOD has given me peace and victory over something that has troubled me for months. I feel lighter, and better and happy for this moment that I am not having emotional warfare grenades launched in my direction. I pointed no fingers, I didn’t judge and above all I said everything with LOVE. And you know what, I think that GOD was proud of me. And for the briefest moment, I am going to be proud of me too. I actaully lasted the battle and I won it with love instead of fighting back with the same hate.

Isn’t GOD grand!
Always yours,
Lady X

Victory – Yolanda Adams

[Chorus]
I’ve got, got the victory
I’ve got the sweet sweet victory in Jesus.
Yes I do
He’s our mighty conquer.
In him I will trust all my battles he’ll fight.
I’ve got, got the victory
I’ve got the sweet sweet victory in Jesus.
For me He died but He rose on the third day.
Thats why I have true victory everyday.

[Verse 1]
Truly I’ve been through the storm and rain.
I know every thing about heartache and pain.
But God carried me through it all without His protection I’ll surely fall.
Ive been broke without a dime to my name.
But all my bills got paid because I called on Jesus name.
You can’t tell me that God isnt real ’cause I’ve got the victory and that why im still here.

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
I’m not worried about material things I dont have.
I’m just blessed cause I sure that my savior’s there.
Because I know that my blessing is on the way
I can’t see it right now but I stand by faith.
I’ve fought many, many battles in His name.
I’ve held up the blood-stained banner and proclaimed.
That Jesus is the truth and the light.
Believe me when I say he will make it alright.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Oh yeah I got the victory yeah
I got the victory yeah yeah yeah
And if you got the victory sing along with me
Yeah I got the victory yeah I got the victory
Yeah yeah yeah
Sing it with me I’ve got the victory

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