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Wasted –adjective
1. waste ( defs. 26–28 ) .
2.done to no avail; useless: wasted efforts.
3. physically or psychologically exhausted; debilitated: to be wasted by a long illness.

Yesterday I got totally wasted. By definition this means that I drank way too much with way too little in my stomach. One of our very good friends who I won’t bother giving a fake name just based on lazy, Mikey, was moving away from us all to go live in Chicago. That is where he is from. So we went out. Now, I am a lightweight. All less than 120lbs of me, it really doesn’t take a whole lot to turn me into a giggly wasted mess.

So we went to a bar downtown, and we all met up. And cigarettes in hand, we drank. I drank a lot. And in a short amount of time. And with very little in my stomach. Not good. By like 11:30pm I was wasted. 3 cherry vodka sours (my favorite) and then a brave chance taken on a Grey Goose and Redbull left me a little messed up. So on our way to bar number two, I actually need help walking, I make the interesting comment that I sure am breathing a lot. (Wow am I an intelligent drunk).

Then I decide I need to pee. So off to the potty we go in an Irish pub that I am not sure how I got into since I had to decend two flights of stairs and give my id to a bouncer. So we arrive in the bathroom where I lovingly pull down my pants and dump my 300 dollar cell phone in the toilet. I take it out, throw it to my sister, giggle, pee. Then I pull up my pants and lean against the wall. I don’t feel so good. I think I may throw up. Which makes me sad since I hadn’t at that point thrown up in 9 years. That is a great record for not praying to the porcelain god. I was very sad about this. And then I did it. Threw up three times. Then went and rested my head on the table and tried to drink some water. I still felt bad. You know why? Because I needed to throw up more. Yay. I throw up two more times before I just feel totally raped by my own body. Sigh. This is why the rules in moderation are so important. Booze in moderation people.

The proof of moderation is in this:
While vomitting while wicked drunk isn’t that bad. The gut rot the next day was terrible! I had no headache, no light sensitiviy, but my tummy was very angry with me. And it didn’t like much of anything. No orange juice, no water, nothing. Took lots of hours before I could even eat some toast.

I also found out that I kissed Mikey on the cheek so awkwardly long that my sister thought I passed out on his cheek. Wow time feels different when your plastered. So the moral and point of this story?

Well drinking in moderation is best. But if you are going to get totally blasted and not remember stuff the next day, then do it with friends. This way you have people that can make sure you don’t make bad decisions based on people looking sexier with hooch in your system.

So if you drink, not to sound like a killjoy, but do it like a grown up. Rather than the way I did it. Like a drunken prom date.

With all my love to all my readers,
Lady X

Last Friday Night – Katy Perry

There’s a stranger in my bed,
There’s a pounding my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ’s passed out in the yard
Barbie’s on the barbeque

There’s a hickie or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Eended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a black top blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop-op
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots
Don’t know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
With my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a blacked out blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

Damn

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credits card
And got kicked out of the bars
So we hit the boulevards

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping int he dark
Then had a menage a trois
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop-op
Oh whoa oh

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night

T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

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