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Moderation –noun
1. the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance.
2.the act of moderating.
3.moderations, British . the first public examinations at Oxford University for the B.A. degree in mathematics or in classics.

Everything in moderation right? Moderation is an interesting word. I have a lot of trouble buying into the fact that you can do much in moderation. I also know that there are things that you don’t want to do in moderation. Let us start with the list of things that you should do in moderation and then we can move onto the list of things that are done more appropriately when done in excess.

Things done in moderation:

Get drunk

This is definitely best in moderation. For a lot of reasons. For instance, your liver will love you more if you don’t ruin its ability to function. Plus if you do this too much you end up an alcoholic and then not only are you broke and drinking cheap booze (which is a huge no no) but you end up looking ugly and you’re depressed and no one likes you. So try to limit the excessive drinking. And always drink with friends, because honestly I have tried drinking alone. It is quite depressing and again leads to being a drunk who will drink anything. Liquor is mean to be enjoyed, and it should be good expensive name brand stuff. So use it for enjoyment and not for making you feel less like you for bad reasons. I am sure I could have worded that with more flair or panache but sorry, I am a little tired so this is what you get today. Complaint box, err I mean comment box is below if you feel led to give me crap about it….

Sex

I have a hard time with this one (winky face) because I love it. Yes I can admit that I do in fact love sex. Now that being said since I don’t want to become permanently bowlegged I feel the need to say that becoming a sex addict is bad. It leads to all sorts of badness. We definetly don’t want to mix sex with alcohol. That is even worse cause now you have sex without inhibition and while I can see how some of us uptight ladies would need a little something extra to help us out, it is possible that you can go over the top and find yourself awake in the morning in a motel with more people in a bed than you knew could fit and no one has clothes on. No this has never happened to me, but this is also why I don’t drink when I think that a scenario like that could be possible. I have no interest in wondering where my thong panties are, and why I am at the bottom of a sexy doggy pile of naked bodies. So I choose to make sure I keep my head in my head and not my pants when drinking spirited beverages. Now, all of this being said I am sure that if you are in a monogamous relationship with someone that you can probably teeter on the edge of moderation when it comes to sex. But remember that most of you do still have to work and unless you have lots of vacation time coming up and you think that you have stocked the fridge well then I say go crazy! Let loose and see what new and fun things you can do with your honey. Just remember that if you have pets, they still need fed and I strongly suggest a sitter if you have small children, or any children for that matter. It is best not to scar them.

Food

This is one that those of us with amazing metabolisms take for granted. Most people have to eat in moderation in order to prevent needed to be air lifted from their homes in case of emergency. Now food is a vice of mine. I love to eat and I eat often. I am also a buck eighteen on the scale and I wear a size 2. I have the metabolism of a humming bird (currently and dear lord please let me keep it like my fathers tiny scary mom). Most people have to watch how they eat. So make sure that if you are going to eat and enjoy it do it moderately. (Always enjoy it though) The occasional binge eating isn’t too terrible. Just don’t do it all the time. And as for stress eating, well I have put on 5lbs ( was a buck thirteen) in a month and half from stress eating so I suggest you stay away from it. It does nothing good but make you ass bigger and your self esteem lower. No one needs that. I promise. Low self esteem is a bitch to get rid of and you have to be careful because if you replace it with dirty arrogance like I did then you have to fight with that too. That is a whole other post for another time. And I promise at this rate I will write that one tomorrow.

Money

I am not going to write a lot on this. Money is awesome and it is helpful and everyone needs it. But too much money makes you an arrogant asshole. So try to not become this if you end up with lots of money. (see how brief that was, I bet your glad)

Now it is time for the fun part. Let’s talk about the things that are wonderfully permissible to do in excess.

Love

Do not do this in moderation! Love is amazing and should be done in loads of excess. Love your family (even if they don’t deserve it) love your kids, your spouse, your friends. You just can’t love enough. I promise. In this respect you can never love enough so do this in as much excess as you can. And you know what is great about loving in way more than moderation would permit? It comes back to you! Isn’t that freakin awesome! God tells us that the most important commandment after Jesus came was to love. So do it already! Remember that love is not the same as Sex so don’t link these together or you will surely find yourself in trouble. Sex can show love, but it isn’t love. So don’t mix them up. Also affection can be counted in here with love so I won’t write a section on affection. Just remember that in order for someone to feel loved they need it to be shown to them. Don’t just assume they know. It makes an ass out of you. Not me, just you.

Share

Sharing is something you can also do in excess without worrying terribly about doing it too much. Now remember that shirt off your back statement when sharing? Maybe you should keep your shirt and remember that you don’t want to share yourself into the poor house. Just remember that there is a ton that you can share. Your love (see above if your skipping around) your time, your resources (this would be money, and things and stuff). The great thing about sharing is that you give and it makes you feel great. The return is amazing and you are being helpful. See, now is sharing that hard?
Live. Live this life to the fullest. Now I have trouble grasping how to do this since I am always broke (food and gas eat all my money) Plus it is so hard to go and do anything with the age range of tiny peeps that I always have. So maybe since this life is meant to be happy and full (within reason mind you) That you should always try to live each day to the fullest that it can be. If you have to work, work like you are working for God. Or at least work like you want to do your best so you can be proud of your work and happy with your day. I also know this is not always or maybe even most of the time, possible. But if you at least try you can go about knowing that at least you made a gallant effort at battling for the best day possible. When you aren’t at work, do things that you enjoy and hopefully you can do it with people you love because then you can do both. Live full and love full all at the same time and then you are really doing the excess! Total brilliance!

I could probably write for a long time on each of these things, but I want to take a shower now. So I leave you with all of my love, and adoration that you come here to read my ranting. I also pray that today is an amazing day that you live and love (and maybe even have a drink and get some naughty) be amazing and be wonderful. LOVE YOU!

Amazed and happy,
Lady X

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